#i am seriously in need of new music to listen to these days so ty if you are gonna do it ;-;
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atsu-i · 1 year ago
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Emh... I hope you have a nice weekend too and... Umh... What's the kind of music you like?
:0
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charon-cries · 3 months ago
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we're lucky Lestat de Lioncourt doesn't have tumblr, the drama he'd get into on here would be wild
#is this anything #he'd probably get cancelled instantly #also side note for future reference #i'm making this post before season 3 #so if anything in this is incompatible with amc canon #that's because i'm working off of seasons 1 + 2 and the books #okay ty have a nice day
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🎧 audiofilled Follow
ANOTHER of my mutuals went missing after buying a backstage pass to a vampire lestat concert. she didn't post pictures, nothing, and she's been radio silent since her last post (which was about how she was about to go backstage...) and i really think we should be taking this more seriously. so.
reasons why i think "lestat de lioncourt" may be running a cult or something:
Keep reading
🐺 the-vampire-lestat
Absolutely ridiculous. I am very open about what I am, you do not need to resort to senseless conspiracy theories to figure out where your little friend went.
🎧 audiofilled Follow
are you incapable of dropping the vampire bit for ONE moment? people are going MISSING and you're still doing your corny roleplay bit?
#discourse #TVL disappearances #callout
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📚 daniel-molloy
It's day number seventy-three of surviving this God forsaken website solely to keep tabs on Lestat's social media presence, and I'm still trying to decipher the lingo you people use here. What the Hell does, "I'm bald," even mean?
#the vampire lestat
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🪽 arun-rising
Did anyone else notice Lestat only posts during the night, in whichever timezone he's in while on tour? True commitment to the bit. Or the bite, I suppose.
🩸 carmillized
weren't you posting about how much you despise his music just yesterday???
🪽 arun-rising
I don't know what you're talking about. I never did that.
🩸 carmillized
You are correct. I believe you without question. I do not even know why I said that in the first place. I do not recall you posting about Lestat de Lioncourt before this.
#sorry OP i was out of line #now that i'm thinking about it though #this post is making me wonder if lestat could be a real vampire #i hadn't seriously considered it until this very moment #something came over me... #wonder why
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🐺 the-vampire-lestat
New song.
youtube
Listen, if you dare.
📷 disintegrated-wonder
Lestat, I thought we were over this...?
#louis talks
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🧷 baby-jenks
Wouldn't it be wild if we all just spontaneously combusted? Haha. Glad that will never happen
#fang gang #vampblr #random thought #it's unlikely
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👴🏻 marius-official Follow
How does this website work...?
🦇 fang-fan
delete your blog
#rank vibes on this man
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🐾 interview-wolf-the-werewolf Follow
Sponsored with Blaze 🔥
Check out my new book. It's a biography, about me, written by an award-winning journalist, chronicling my life as a werewolf. It's 100% factual and real, a real breath of fresh air in a world filled with fiction attempting to pass itself off as reality.
#iwtw #my posts #my book #me #werewolf #wolf #awoo #please i need to feed my litter of twelve #this book is all i have
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🩸 carmillized
hey all! i know that my mutual, audiofilled, is a little bit divisive in the music fandom rn, but i'm getting a little worried. i haven't heard from him since he made that post speculating about where TVL fans have been disappearing to. please send me an ask or a dm if you've heard from him!
#talk tag #getting a little worried #he's probably okay though
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🐺 the-vampire-lestat
Just had a lovely dinner. It's nice when your food is in tune with you, yes? Makes the blood sit well in the veins.
🦇 fang-fan
ur so funny
#edit: sorry for posting while audiofilled is missing #i didn't hear about it until just now
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🩸 carmillized
okay i just can't get over how he talks about himself. i don't know if it's just him being "in character" or if this is just how the guy acts irl, but he's so self-aggrandizing that i've been questioning it
no nuance/bald/other, you have to decide on the spot right now what you believe
📚 daniel-molloy
He's lying.
👩‍💻 talamascized-witch
I don't believe him for a second.
#archive #poll #lestat de lioncourt
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bump1nthen1ght · 4 years ago
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I’m Still Hurting (F!Reader/M!Orc)
Pairings: Fem!Reader/Male!Orc
Genre: Urban Fantasy, Angst
Warnings: (Almost) Infidelity
Word Count: 3376 words
Summary: Your boyfriend does something he’d never thought he’d do, and you’re left to try and pick up the pieces.
Request: can I make a request? About an angst story between an m!orc and f!human. I like the idea of like maybe the orc sorta misses being with other orc women or like she can't fulfill his needs and she hears this. I like the idea of almost infidelity
A/N: Surprise bitches! I’m alive! And back with some delicious angst for y’all!! I really loved doing this request, as I don’t often write full on angst. I am also working on a fluffy request  at the moment, if some of you would like some nice comfort after this haha. Hope y’all enjoy!
Honey ❤️: Babe
Honey ❤️: Babe please answer the phone I need to talk to you
Honey ❤️: I know you’re angry, you should be angry, but please talk to me
Honey ❤️: Baby please
“____? Is that my phone?” Brynn yells from the kitchen, already mixing another cocktail for you to down. Her bright red horns peek over the living room divider, bouncing back as she grabs the alcohol from the fridge. Still looking at your bright screen, you don’t even have the energy to respond.
“____?” You throw your phone away as she peaks her head over, giving her a shameful look. Brynn furrows her brow, pulling away from the kitchen island and putting one hand on her hip. “Was that him?” With your eyes darting back and forth from the pillow you shoved your phone under and Brynn’s face, you nod.
“Y-yeah, it was him.”
Brynn sighs, fiddling with her hands.
“Listen, I don’t want to tell you what to do, especially not tonight, but I just think-”
“No, no, it’s alright. You’re right, you’re right.” A jolt hits you as your phone vibrates, the vibrations rumbling through the fabric and stabbing right into your stomach. You force yourself to look away, fiddling with your fingers. Brynn shoots you a pitiful look, you’re sure of it, even as your efuse to meet her gaze. “I shouldn’t talk to him tonight. Not right now, not when I’m like….this.” A slow, tired breath escapes you. “I’ll make him wait, just like he did.”
The coach cushion bends as Brynn sits next to you, rubbing your shoulder as she leans in for a side each. You accept it, your body like a deadweight as you let yourself go slack in her arms.
“Do you want anything? Chocolate, maybe a movie? I’ve got some leftover cheesecake?”
“A movie sounds nice.” You murmur, nodding against her chest. Brynn hums, her tail coming up and massaging your lower back as she kisses you on the forward.
“Of course, your choice. Do you want me to get your drink?”
You nod once more, letting Brynn untangle herself from the hug and laying back on the couch, grabbing the comfiest blanket and the remote. You quickly flick through you and Brynn’s ‘most watched’ section on Netflix. You need something new tonight, something to get your mind off.
All your regular comfort movies are romances, after all.
By the time Brynn comes back, a rum and coke and a carton of ice cream in hand, you’re already snuggled into a blanket burrito. She hands you a spoon and the glass, which you wordlessly accept. She sits down and throws a hand over your shoulder, trying her best to massage the left over tension in your neck. You sink into the feeling, pressing on your movie of choice.
“Mad Max: Fury Road, huh? I’ve heard this movie’s great.”
“Yeah,” you whisper, “It is.”
And chocked full of shitty men getting what they deserve.
As the opening title plays, the deep voice of Tom Hardy kicking the movie off, you snuggle into Brynn’s side. Your phone buzzes again, but it’s drowned out by screaming men and loud engines. Just how you like it.
Honey ❤️: Could you call me in the morning?
Honey ❤️: I’ll leave you alone for the night, I’m sorry
Honey ❤️: I love you
--------
Waruck sighs, his fingers shaking as another small ‘message delivered’ shows up on his screen. No response, just like the last 15 texts. He finds himself typing out another anyway.
I love you so fucking much
It reads, but is quickly deleted. Waruck clicks off his phone, but it stays in his hand, taunting him. The black mirror shows a sad, pathetic boyfriend, getting the silent treatment.
He falls back onto his bed, exhausted from a day of doing nothing. Nothing but worrying and feeling guilty, with the occasional flicking through TV channels and texting his girlfriend.
It’s getting late, his bedside clock cutting through the dark of his room to remind him he’s been up for almost 16 hours now. Waruck slides a hand through his hair and gets up. He’s going to have to camp out in front of the TV, because he knows he won’t be able to sleep tonight.
Not after what he did.
--------
He had gone out with friends. Friends from highschool who he still occasionally chatted with, friends he didn’t even really like anymore. But the past two weeks had him feeling oddly...nostalgic, like something was out of place. So when his buddy Simon had invited him to the bar, he had eagerly accepted.
He remembers grabbing his coat, you sending him a text to have fun, and him not replying. He didn’t know why he didn’t respond, he still doesn’t. The two of you had been going strong for almost 8 months now, with only the occasional hiccup that most couples have. So why didn’t he respond? What made him casually throw your sweet remark to the side like that?
Waruck shakes his head, trying to focus on the movie in front of him. Now isn’t the time to get existential over tiny shit like that, not with how the rest of the night went.
When he met up with the group, Waruck immediately knew that tonight was going to be different. His current group of friends are quite different, less rowdy, than his old posse. At only 10 PM, three of the guys we’re already halfway drunk, saving a spot in line from him outside the noisy bar. The electronic music that thrummed through the concrete and out onto the street reminded him of how much time has passed, how different his usual party-scene is now, and he revels in that feeling of former good-times.
Simon greets him with a hug, the guys shouting his name as he joins them. From the corner of his eye, he sees a gaggle of girls giggling.
And that's where it started.
An orc woman, dressed in a beautiful black dress, winks as she passes him at the bar. Simon nudges his side as Waruck takes a drink.
“Dude, that chick is totally sending you the look”
Waruck furrows his brow, stirring his drink.
“What’s ‘the look’?” He says, taking another sip of his scotch.
Simon rolls his eyes. “The ‘come hit on me’ look dude! That’s the sign you need to go for it!”
“I have a girlfriend, Simon.”
Simon scoffs, throwing his hand out dramatically. “What, that human chick?”
Waruck has half of mind to set down his drink and ask Simon what he means with that sarcastic tone of voice. It pisses him off, but he says nothing, just rolls his eyes.
“No offense, bro, she looks cute and all. But is she really worth missing out on some great ass?”
Waruck grimaces and shoots Simon a dirty look. “Jesus, Simon, are you serious?”
“I’m serious! When was the last time you had fun, y’know? Everyone knows an orc chick can throw down, wild-style.” Simon nudges him in his side, playfully, but it only serves to make Waruck more annoyed. “C’mon, you seriously don’t miss it?”
Waruck should tell him a firm ‘No’, finish his drink, and leave. He should call a cab and go home, call you and rant about his gross misogynistic friend from high school.
But he doesn’t.
The part of him, the part of him that feels slightly off, wonders if this is it. It had been a long time since he had been with another orc. You were a great girlfriend, but so different from in so many ways. Is that it?
Maybe relieving the old days will satisfy whatever longing he has, and then it will leave forever. Would that be so bad, to let loose for one night?
Waruck feels a tap on his shoulder, and turns to see the orc girl from earlier; The one who sent him ‘the look’.
“Hey handsome, can I buy you a drink?”
Between the boosted bass of the music and the orc woman pressing up against him, Waruck doesn’t notice Simon slip away, giving him a pat on the back.
Leave, say no, tell her she’s got the wrong guy, you fucking idiot. His consciousness yells.
“U-uh, sure.” He stutters.
She introduces herself as Naz and says she noticed him the minute he walked in.
“Hard not to notice the best-dressed guy in the room.” She flirts, pressing herself closer and up against him.
He has a thousand little moments like that, to say something; To pull back and apologize, but he doesn’t.
Instead, he slips into a corner booth with her, purposely ignoring the texts you send to check up on him. You had remembered that he wasn’t sure how much fun this night would be, and routinely checked in if he needed a convenient excuse to leave early. You’re sweet like that.
Naz is sweet too. She's a great conversationalist, with a good head on her shoulders and an interesting career in zoology. Waruck could see the two of you being good friends.
Is that why she seems so alluring? Because she’s so similar to you? Waruck’s mind does mental gymnastics to try and justify his hesitance, his compliance in believing that maybe she has something different after all, even though he knows that isn’t true.
The two of them talk for a solid hour and a half, Naz slowly inching herself closer and putting a hand on his knee. His body screams in resistance, his stomach tying up into knots, but he doesn’t push her away.
“So, I’ve got a room not too far from here. What do you say we go make ourselves a bit more comfortable?”
This is his final chance to find an excuse and say goodnight. To run back home and forget this ever happened. But the words are caught in his throat and he’s further silenced by the nearby whooping of his asshole friends.
“Yeah, Waruck! Get some!”
Naz chuckles and mistakenly reads his seething anger at himself with embarrassment for his friends. She leans in, grabbing his jaw, and whispers.
“Let's give them a show, huh?” Then, she kisses him.
The noises of the bar, his friends, and Naz all drown away as her lips mold into his. Waruck’s body goes rigid, terrified as time seems to freeze as he kisses someone who is not his girlfriend.
But all of that stops when your ringtone begins to blast in his pocket. It should be near silent when compared to the pounding bar music, but that familiar jingle seems to cut deep into his skin and skewer his heart. Waruck pulls away with a quick jerk, Naz almost falling over as he pushes himself into his seat and away from her body-heat. Every nerve is a light with tension as he quickly pulls out his phone.
There on the screen is a picture of you, your contact name, “Sweetie❤️”, shining through the dimmed light of that bar. Waruck breathes heavily, feeling like he’s just run an emotional marathon, stuck in his own head until Naz slides away from him.
“Wait, hold on, do you have a girlfriend?”
Waruck looks at her, then looks at his still-ringing phone, then back to Naz. He nods.
Naz's face curls up into obvious disgust, quickly directing her body to be as far away from him as possible. “Fucking hell, dude. What the fuck?” She grabs her handbag and stomps out of the booth, not before throwing her drink in his face and telling him to go to hell.
He almost watches her move across the bar, most likely to go complain to her friends about the asshole she just wasted the last 2 hours chatting up, but all he can focus on is your picture on his phone.
--------
Waruck practically runs out of the bar, his whole body covered in sweat and his mind racing a mile a minute.
What the hell was wrong with him?
He felt like a 15 year old, goaded into another shitty prank just because he wanted to look cool in front of his friends, buying into their weird bullshit about humans. Was he seriously going to throw away your wonderful relationship over one night, over one urge?
Naz had been strikingly beautiful, in all the ways he was taught an orc like himself should look for. She could probably get any guy in that club tonight, but she wasn’t you. You’re different, but in so many cool, inconsequential, uniquely-you ways.
Waruck doesn’t know how long he walks before he sits down outside a cafe, trying to collect his racing emotions. He feels gross, sticky with the kind of sweat you only get after too much alcohol and too many people. The screen of his phone seems to reflect every smudge and finger-print as he swipes it to unlock it, finally getting the courage to read your text messages.
They start off normal, spread out over several hours. The occasional “How are the guys?” and “Hope you are having fun! Just let me know when you get home safe.” before dropping off into nothing. Right up until 20 minutes ago, where you send a short and curt text that has his heart dropping to his stomach.
Sweetie❤️: Can you call me right now?
Sweetie❤️: Waruck, I need to talk to you
Sweetie❤️: Are you still at the bar?
After that is a notification of your missed call from earlier and Waruck can’t help but feel  guilt stir in his gut.
It could be nothing, something unrelated to what he almost did tonight. But the notification he gets from his Instagram says otherwise. It says a mutual of his tagged him in a photo 30 minutes ago.
Waruck feels like vomiting when he opens up Simon’s story and sees a shaky picture of Naz, draped over him in the corner booth, with him looking all too happy to have her there. The caption reads
“At least someone’s getting lucky tonight 🤣🤣 #BoysNight20XX”
But what comes next is even worse; An even blurrier photo of Naz kissing him, both of their eyes closed as she almost sits in his lap.
Waruck can’t even look at the caption, quickly exiting out of the app and calling you.
He needs to explain himself.
But what will he say?
The phone rings, rings, rings….
Waruck waits with bated breath, thinking you’re going to let it go to voicemail, but you answer. There is no cheerful “Hi Babe” or even a tired and drawn-out “Hey.” Instead all Waruck hears is a shaky sigh, waiting for an explanation.
The words stay caught in Warucks throat, trying to find a way to maneuver and swing around to a solid excuse, a lie he hopes you won’t catch.
But he can’t, he can’t. Not to you.
So you make it easy for him, like you always do, and start the conversation off instead.
“Were you flirting with that girl?”
Waruck’s mind doesn’t give him a choice, the truth already spilling out like a tidal wave.
“Yes.”
Waruck hears you suck in a breath, before you shakily ask once more,
“Did you kiss her? Did you kiss her back?”
“Yes.”
There's 15 seconds of brutal silence as Waruck sits with his confession. In the moment, Waruck feels like he can hear your pounding heartbeat through the receiver.
You hang up.
---------
You hate the weather outside for two reasons.
One: You had far too much rum last night to enjoy any amount of sunlight. And,
Two: On a terrible morning like this one, it feels unfair that there aren't any dramatic thunder storms.
The bell rings on the cafe door as you walk in, causing you to wince as you pull down your sunglasses.
Thank god for the low lighting of these cafes.
You rub your brow, eyes scanning the menu above the bar. Some caffeine should do you good, at least with your headache.
But when you spot him, tucked away at a table, tapping his foot, all that aching pain seems to fall to your subconscious. Before you can meet eyes, you look away, forcing yourself to re-read the menu and blink away your tears.
You face the inevitable when you put in your order, turning to walk towards Waruck. He’s locked his gaze into the wood grain of the table, his large body hunched up and small, like he wants to sink into the shadows. He looks like shit, with large bags under his eyes and a nervous tension in his face.
He startles when you pull out a chair, sitting down across from him, but quickly curls back into his ball of shame. He looks so guilty, a small part of you wants to comfort him and tell him it’ll be alright.
You punch away that part of you with a baseball bat.
“Why did you flirt with her?”
Waruck says nothing. He looks at you with his tired eyes, big and racked with guilt.
I don’t know. They whisper.
Your fingers dig into your jeans, anger boiling up and through your nerves.
That’s not a good enough answer.
“Were you,” You suck in a breath, trying to control your volume, “Were you going to sleep with her? If I hadn’t called you, would you have-”
“No!” Waruck nearly shouts, shaking the table as his knees bang against the bottom, but he recoils once he sees the way you flinch. “No, I wasn’t going to.”
Those pesky tears press against your eyelids once more. You can feel your nails digging indents into your thighs.
“I don’t know if  I can believe that.” You whisper, failing to catch the crack in your voice.
Waruck’s brow furrows as he nervously chews his bottom lip. He tries to meet your gaze, but you seem to look right through him.
“I know.” Waruck sighs, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck.
There's a tenuous silence; Waruck tries to find the words to fix things  while you focus on the details of the cafe walls, examining every nook and cranny as you try not to sob.
“I-I understand if you don’t trust me. I understand if you hate me, or you want to break up. But please, please know that I love you, and that I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve been kicking myself over flirting with that girl because I love you so fucking much. I-”
You hold up your hand, stopping Waruck in his tracks. He realizes how loud he’s been talking and that people are beginning to stare. He huddles back into his corner, tucking his hands into his lap. You let out a long breath. Waruck takes the risk and looks up.
When his eyes finally meet yours, he realizes just how sad you look. A treacherous tear has begun falling down your cheek, sending a lightning bolt of remorse into Waruck’s chest.
You take in another deep breath, wiping away the tear with the back of your hand. You look at Waruck, exhausted.
“I don’t,”  You falter, but catch yourself, “I don’t want to break up with you. I just don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you yet.”
Waruck nods, fiddling with his fingers.
“Of course, I get it-”
“I’m not done.” Waruck quickly shuts his mouth. “You hurt me, Waruck. Hurt me in a way I don’t think I’ll ever forget. So I need time. Time before I can even see you again without thinking,” You hiccup, but this time you let the wave of emotion hit you, full force.  “Without thinking about that night.”
A lady calls out your order, but neither of you makes a move. You sit in each other's presence, trying to wrap yourselves around the mess of emotions, trying to read the others mind without seeming too obvious.
You both sit here, in the presence of something that's been broken, damaged in a way that’s cut the heart of your chest and slams them on the table. There’s a crack that runs down between you two, inching open more and more with each breath.
But somehow, somehow, you both think you have a chance of fixing it.
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charlotteswriting · 4 years ago
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Since i'm quite a sucker for angst, is it okay for me to request Izuru and Kaede finding their S/O dead in the KG When their S/O didn't show up at Izuru's/Kaede's cottage like they usually do to spend time? thank you in advance '^^
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Oh no... My comfort characters... Well, I can’t help but write, right? Let’s get started :’) -Mod Kaede
Tw; mentions of death
Izuru Kamukura
For someone talented at everything, Izuru seriously needed to learn more about cuddling
He didn’t have any emotions to express, but whenever you were being needy, he’d try to show you his love
Tonight was no different, you rested your back on his chest, holding you while you played with his long black hair
He was getting really good at holding you, you thought to yourself and giggled at the thought of it
“What’s up?” He asked
“Hmmm? Nothing! I just love you so much,” You replied with a wholesome smile, which he couldn’t see because your back was facing him
“I love you too...” He muttered which you did catch so well
As the hours passed, it was now time for you to leave
He couldn’t help but think how hopeful and beautiful you looked when you stood there
For some reason... Your existence never bored him, he always felt these weird emotions around you, but boy, were they not nice?
He didn’t know why his heart skipped a beat when you closed the distance between you and him and jumped a little to give him a kiss and hug him
But he hugged you back, and that’s what mattered to you
“Mmm, see you later, Izuru,” You looked at him with those pretty eyes of yours, shining with so much hope and happiness
“See you,”
Even when you broke the hug, he was still holding you, which made you blush. You started leaning over, giving him a passionate kiss
Closing his eyes, he kissed you back
You waved at him before leaving, you quite enjoyed this night, too. Even though he was still a bit bad at cuddling, his presence was enough for you to be happy
But for some reason, Izuru couldn’t sleep that night. He did have that bad feeling with him
He did want to see you so bad. Maybe you could calm him down
Only you could calm him down
But it was late already, not having anything better to do, you are most likely asleep by now, he thought.
Thinking of you was enough for him to calm down
Only if he did visit you
The next day, you didn’t show up during breakfast
Some asked for you, since they cared about you
“Maybe they are sick...?”
“I don’t know, they seemed fine yesterday.”
“Well, that was yesterday,”
Something is off, Izuru thought to himself before immediately leaving the restaurant
He made his way to your cottage, some shouted after him but that didn’t stop him
Before knocking on the door, he noticed it was half opened. Pushing the door, he let himself in
And he was met with that terrifying view
There was your lifeless body, laying on the ground
Blood was no longer coming out, it was dry already
“Mmm, see you later, Izuru,”
You said that, right?
And he felt himself peaceful, maybe even excited to see you
See you, you said
It was just a promise you can’t keep
But the worst part is, he didn’t even feel anything now that you were gone
Kaede Akamatsu
Kaede was really enjoying talking to you tonight
Well, that was because you always picked the subject she loved the most. Which happened to be music!
You knew how much your girlfriend enjoyed talking about it so it was a bit risky-- because once she did start talking about it, she never stopped
But that was fine! You quite enjoyed listening to her, too
“Aww, now talking to you like this... I really want to play you piano!” She said while pouting and huffing
“Well, you can? I mean, why don’t we sneak out to your lab?” You offered, which she immediately agreed
“Alright. But let’s be quiet, okay?” She said and held your hand, dragging you with her
You two had a great time. Seeing how interested you are listening to her made her want to play it better! She did want to impress you
After a while, she did offer you to play with her, which you accepted after her insisting a bit. Well, she was a little hard to keep up with but you were enjoying the company “S/o, we sound really good together!” Kaede claimed as she let out a giggle
“Yeah, we do,”
Later on, you two had to part ways because it was getting really really late
But before leaving, you held her hands and looked her in the eyes, “Night, Kaede!” You said, giving her a soft smile. “Yes, good night, S/o,” She said before you started leaning in for a kiss, which she returned
Exchanging I love yous, you finally parted ways
After returning to her room, she was blushing madly as she felt her heart beating so fast. She thought it was impossible for her to fall for you even more while hugging her pillow, but she was wrong. You were so perfect in many ways and she couldn’t help but fall for you
Your mere existence was enough for her to overcome anything :’)
Next morning was something else, she didn’t get her sleep at all because she talked to you until late hours... But it was worth it
Yawning, she started to get ready for the new day and left her room to go to dining hall
She noticed many people had already gathered there, but you haven’t arrived yet
“Geez, they must be sleeping, too” It did make sense since she barely woke up this morning
But you didn’t show up during breakfast... And she was getting worried, I mean, you never missed the breakfast, y’know?
As soon as she finished eating, she left dining hall, carrying some food as she made her way to your roon
“I’m worrying for nothing, they’re just sleeping. They’re just lazy to get up...”
She gently knocked on your door, waiting for you to open up... No sign. She called for you, still nothing
“S/o, heyy...” When she pushed the door a bit, she noticed the door wasn’t closed to being with.
Before she could start having doubts and horrible scenarios, she entered your room and immediately dropped the stuff she was carrying
“S...S/O?”
She let out a loud scream, falling on her knees as tears left her eyes
She tried to reach you, but when her warm hands touched your body, she was only met with coldness
You were gone, you were gone and she couldn’t take this back. Bursting into tears, she wondered what did you do to deserve this. What did her lovely S/o do to deserve such a cruel ending
How bad did she wish to take your place, oh, if only she could
Before regrets could take over her, she felt a hand tapping on her shoulder
She looked up immediately, thinking it was just a bad dream and you were right beside her
But when she did, she only met with Shuichi’s eyes
And that was when it hit her for the second time
You weren’t coming back
Brb gonna cry
Also I was happy with this being fluff but then I was reminded I am supposed to be writing angst 😭 so this is fluff with a bad ending? How do you name that... Anyways,... Requests are still open I guess??? Lol ty for bearing with me I’m trying to finish requests but I have like 20 left-
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sokkascroptop · 4 years ago
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traitor. (sokka x f!reader) pt 13
part 1 | part 12 | part 14
A/N: Here’s a cute little part. Occurs in ‘the headband’ episode, but doesn’t encompass the whole episode, just the important parts :)
Y/N sat there in silence after Aang told her what he had learned in just one day at a Fire Nation school. What did that mean for her education of five years at one? She tugged one of their blankets around her shoulders because even next to the fire she was shivering. She felt like she had been punched hard in the stomach and all the wind was knocked out of her. 
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“I don’t know about this,” Aang whispered. “It feels wrong to steal someone else’s clothes.”
Katara and Y/N exchanged a look. “I call the silk robe!” Katara shouted as she jumped over the rocks they had hidden behind. 
“But I guess if it’s for the good of humanity… I call the suit!” Aang followed her. 
The rest of them joined and ran between the lines of clothes looking for anything that might fit. Y/N was reaching for a pair of pants when Katara stopped her. “Pick something else.”
“Why?”
“People are used to seeing you wear Fire Nation clothes. You’ll be more recognizable if you pick something you always wear.”
“Fine.” Y/N wrinkled her nose and pulled a deep red skirt from the clothesline. 
“This too.” She whipped a shirt at Y/N’s face. When she caught a look at it she shook her head wildly. “No way!” Y/N worked to keep her voice low so the man they were stealing from couldn’t hear her. “It’ll be hard enough to fight in a skirt, Katara. I’m not wearing it.”
---
Y/N poked at the bare skin of her midriff. “I mean seriously, Katara. I have to shrug this shirt on like it’s a robe and it ties in the back. If a bad guy gets ahold of that I’ll be half-naked.”
Katara pulled her hair out of its braids and hair loopies and didn’t spare a glance at the other girl. “You complain almost as much as Sokka.”
Y/N huffed and crossed her arms. “I don’t.” She unwound the leather tie around her braid and let her hair hang loose down her back, tying a similar top knot to Katara’s. “Let’s just go find the others.”
“How do we look?” Katara asked the other three. Y/N gave a very unenthusiastic twirl. Y/N turned back to notice how Aang’s eyes widened and he blushed as he looked at Katara. Y/N raised an eyebrow and glanced at Katara’s face, who was looking back at Aang with soft eyes. What is going on here? Y/N hummed in thought.
“You look like a girl,” Sokka said as his eyes bounced from Y/N’s skirt to her face. 
“Thank you for that astute observation. I am a girl,” Y/N replied drily. 
Sokka was blushing furiously. “No, I mean–”
“Oh, Katara. Your necklace,” Aang interrupted. 
Katara rubbed the carved bone. “I guess it’s pretty obviously from the Water Tribe.”
“Don’t worry,” she patted Katara’s shoulder. “We’ll get you something else in town so it doesn’t feel like you lost it.”
 ---
Y/N slid the new bracelet she had bought around her upper arm while she listened to Aang talk. All of them bought something to make their disguises more authentic, while also being able to feel more like themselves; a new Fire Nation necklace for Katara, a flame pin to hold together Sokka’s top knot, a headband for Toph and the bracelet to help hide the burn scar on Y/N’s bicep. 
“I used to visit my friend Kuzon here a hundred years ago. Just follow my lead.” Aang confidently turned the corner of the building they were behind and winked at a guy on the street. “Greetings, my good hotman!”
Toph pulled on Y/N’s elbow. “Is this really how they talk in the Fire Nation?”
“Uhh.. you know, I didn’t go into the city much but I’m almost one hundred percent positive that no they don’t,” Y/N whispered.
“Spirits, do not stop him. This is hilarious,” Toph laughed as Aang tipped his head to another man walking by, calling him ‘hotman’.
“I wouldn’t dream of it. I wish you could see the looks people are giving him.” 
The five of them stopped in front of a restaurant. “Oh, I didn’t know we were going to a meat place,” Aang said a little dejectedly
“Everyone here eats meat!” Sokka exclaimed. “Even the meat!” He pointed over to a cow-hippo who was eating meat off the ground. Y/N’s stomach turned at the sight. Maybe she didn’t want to eat meat today either. 
---
Aang left, promising to meet them in the same spot outside after he found something vegetarian. Ten minutes had passed and there was still no sign of him. Katara was beginning to pace with worry. 
“He could have gotten lost looking for something to eat, right?” She asked the rest of them.
“We could go look around for him?” Y/N offered. When she noticed the hint of fear in Katara’s eyes, she added, “Nothing happened to him of course. He probably just got lost! Or he’s looking at some shop. How about you and Toph stay here, wait for him to see if he comes back. Sokka and I can wander the town looking for him.”
“We can?” Sokka asked. 
Y/N nudged his ribs. 
“We can,” he confirmed. He popped the last bit of his elk-caribou kebab in his mouth and threw the stick away. “Aang will come back and we’ll feel silly for being worried about him.”
“I hope you’re right, Sokka.” Katara said. 
---
“Ooh, let’s look in this shop,” Sokka marveled, pulling Y/N along with him. It was only a shop full of little trinkets and bags but everything Sokka saw excited him. 
“What do you think of this bag?” Sokka tossed the strap over his shoulder and posed. 
“You have an Earth Kingdom bag back at camp that looks the same,” she retorted.
Sokka rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but now that we’re here, I need a Fire Nation one.” 
Y/N shrugged and Sokka took that as her statement on what she thought of the bag. He placed it back on the table and picked up a ceramic box. “What about this box?” he asked.
She took it from his outstretched hands and inspected it. It was a black box with a golden Fire Nation flame on top. “What are you going to put in the box?” she asked as she handed it back to him.
“I–um, cool rocks that I find?”
Y/N hummed, amused. “And what are you going to do with the box full of cool rocks?”
“Put it in my bag,” Sokka muttered. “Fine! I won’t get it!” 
---
“You’re not very fun to shop with.” Sokka said when they left. 
Y/N looked up at the sun to check the time. “We’re supposed to be looking for Aang, not shopping.”
Sokka waved his hands. “Aang is fine. He’s the Avatar, he can take care of himself.” 
“I’m assuming by the way Katara reacted that he doesn’t necessarily go off by himself a lot.”
“Katara–” he paused to think of the right word, “–she mother-hens us.” He held up his hands defensively. “Not that I’m saying we don’t need it, because sometimes it’s nice, but she worries entirely too much.”
Y/N stopped a fruit stand and picked up a ripe peach. “I don’t know, it’s kind of nice.” She passed along a few coins to the merchant and handed a second one to Sokka. 
“How is it nice?” Sokka asked, then bit into the flesh of the peach.
“I don’t know. The way I grew up there was never anyone worried about when I would come home, you know? I just came and went as I pleased and then when I moved to the palace it was the same way.”
“You lived at the palace?” Sokka blurted out.
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Y/N watched as Sokka cut the pit of the peach out with a small knife and tossed it into the road. He nodded at her to continue. “I moved to the capital to go to school and about a year after, I moved into the palace.” She bit into the peach and wiped the juice off her chin with the back of her hand. 
“Why though? Why not live with your parents?” He asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.
“Do you always ask this many questions?”
“I’m just trying to figure you out,” Sokka stuttered. 
“Why?” Y/N giggled. She abruptly stopped when Sokka blushed and gave her a look she couldn’t decipher. 
“I just want to,” he finally said. “We don’t know anything about you.”
“Well, if you must know–it’s embarrassing–but my parents encouraged it actually. They were ecstatic that I was able to get close to the Royal Family and even though we weren’t nobility they had this absurd fantasy that I could marry Zuko.” Y/N covered her face in humiliation. 
Sokka shared a look of disgust. “Fire Prince Ponytail, huh?”
She smiled at the joke, but it faded quickly; the hurt of Zuko’s betrayal still heavy on her heart. “He wasn’t always like that.” Y/N ran quickly to his defense. “I knew him when he was still good.”
Sokka collapsed on the ground and leaned up against a wall. “So tell me about it.”
Y/N sat next to him and bumped his arm with her shoulder. “About what?”
“Your palace life, Princess.”
---
The sun was setting when her and Sokka headed back to the cave. The streets were lined with paper lanterns and Y/N could hear lively music being played somewhere. It was busier than it was during the heat of the day and Sokka and Y/N were frequently bumped into from all sides, right into one another. Finally, after losing him twice in the crowd she looped her arm through his. She felt him tense up under her touch, but immediately relaxed. 
“Oh, hey, what’s that?” She pointed off in the distance to a wooden board that looked like it had pictures posted all over it. She weaved them around the crowd to stand in front of it. It was a bulletin board full of advertisements, lost items, found items, and wanted posters. Her eyes ran across the assortment of them–The Blue Spirit, an Admiral named Jeong-Jeong–until her eyes landed on one in particular. 
“Yeah, they put these out when we first started traveling with Aang.” Sokka poked at a yellowing poster of Aang in his airbender clothes. “Luckily they won’t be hunting for him anymore.”
“Yeah. They aren’t hunting you,” Y/N pointed at the only poster that drew her attention. The one with a similar likeness to her face. “But I think they’re hunting me now.” 
Sokka peered around them to see if anyone was watching and ripped the poster down and shoved it in his pocket. “We need to tell the others.”
They only stopped running when they reached the mouth of the cave, the sun low in the sky. 
“Where were you two?!” Katara scolded. “We waited for you to come back but you never did!” 
“We looked around for Aang but–” Sokka started. He unfolded the poster from his pocket. 
“Well did you find him?” She asked.
Sokka and Y/N shared a look. “You mean you didn’t?” Y/N fretted. 
“No and Toph and I came back here when we couldn’t find anyone–”
The four of them jumped a noise outside. Y/N reached back instinctively to grab the hilt of her sword just when Aang strode in with Momo perched on his shoulder. His clothes were muddy and there was dirt on his face like he’d been chased through the woods but he was smiling. “Hey guys!” 
“Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!” Katara raced to pull him into a hug. 
Aang sheepishly pulled off his headband. “I got invited to play with some kids after school.” 
Sokka’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “After what?!”
“I enrolled in a Fire Nation school and I’m going back tomorrow.” 
“Enrolled in what?!” Y/N thought Sokka was going to pass out. 
“Let’s just sit down and talk about it,” Y/N suggested. 
“I’m learning about all the propaganda they teach–”
Behind her, Y/N knew that Sokka was still talking, still flailing his arms around but she couldn’t hear the words he was saying because–
“Propaganda?”
Everyone froze, unsure of what to do next. Y/N could hear Toph behind her by the fire. “Oh no.”
“Um–”
Y/N wasn’t sure what to think. “No, don't even think about not telling me! What do you mean they teach propaganda at Fire Nation schools?”
---
Y/N sat there in silence after Aang told her what he had learned in just one day at a Fire Nation school. What did that mean for her education of five years at one? She tugged one of their blankets around her shoulders because even next to the fire she was shivering. She felt like she had been punched hard in the stomach and all the wind was knocked out of her. 
What did Sokka, Katara, Aang and Toph think of her as they realized that these were the things that she grew up learning? That she had foolishly believed that the Air Nomads–known pacifists–had created an army big enough to destroy the Fire Nation so they had to be taken out first. That the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes, after hearing of the destruction of all the Air Temples and supposedly the Avatar, had joined together and invaded the Fire Nation. That she had believed in and supported the idea that the Fire Nation was doing the right thing, that cleansing the world of troublemakers and creating obedience and peace in the villages was ‘the only way’. 
In the back of her mind, Y/N was trying to reason with herself, You knew the whole time. That’s why you left, that’s why you're trying to do good with the Avatar; to right the wrongs of your Nation. But it didn’t matter. She’d believed long enough for it to be harmful.
“Not to take away from the frankly alarming things we just learned but–” Sokka handed Aang the poster. “–we also found this when Y/N and I were in town.”
“What is it?” Toph asked. 
“It’s a wanted poster for Y/N,” Aang muttered. 
Katara jumped up to join him in reading it. Y/N didn’t need to see it again. She’d memorized it the first time she laid eyes on it. 
And suddenly, her day was ruined. She couldn’t remember the taste of the peach she had eaten that afternoon or the feeling of the sun on her face. She couldn’t remember what the music sounded like as her and Sokka wandered out of town or what it felt like to spill her life story to someone who wanted to listen. 
“Maybe I should go,” Y/N said numbly. 
“What?” Katara said looking up from the poster. 
“I’m putting you all in danger by being around you. Without me you’d be free to roam without the fear of being caught in the back of your minds all the time. It would be better for all of you like that!” Y/N was starting to get mad. Why couldn’t they see it? Why couldn’t they understand that this is the best option for everyone? That she was trying to save them?
“Why would you say something like that? How is that better?” Toph argued. 
“Because you don’t need me here anyways? How could you want me around after hearing what Aang learned at school. Mind you, up until ten minutes ago, I believed every one of those things to be true!” Y/N stood up and paced around the cave, no longer able to be sitting still. Their campfire threw wild shadows of her form on the walls. 
Y/N was beginning to feel like her outburst was due to more than just learning about Fire Nation propaganda but she couldn’t stop her mouth from moving. She stopped in front of them all for a second. “Tell me exactly what purpose do I serve on this mission?” 
She took their silence for an answer. “Exactly,” Y/N growled. 
Sokka stood up with her. “Not everything needs an exact purpose! You just fit with us!”
“But I don’t!” Y/N shouted. Her eyes and nose were stinging with unshed tears. Y/N rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands to keep the tears at bay for just a second longer. “I need a reason. I need a purpose. I have to have one! I don’t know how to describe this feeling. I’m just... lost. And–and I don’t even know how to explain it to you. How do I try and explain that my life has no meaning when I have no one to serve? I sit here with you guys and I’m wondering how you even wanted me to come when there was no reason for me to be here? I can’t even be your Fire Nation guide because I’ve never even seen most of the cities and apparently, I don’t even know my own history!”
Y/N looked at Katara. She blinked and twin tears traced down her cheeks. “I told you. I’m weak. I care about someone who wants me dead so badly she made me a wanted person. And all I want is to make her better so I can go home and I just can’t get past it all.”
Y/N put her head in her hands and sobbed. She felt two arms wrap around her waist and a head lay on her shoulder. Two more arms wrapped around the both of them. And pretty soon all five of them stood huddled in the cave in a group hug. 
Y/N sniffled. “Why are you all comforting me like you’re my friends?”
“You are our friend,” Katara murmured into Y/N’s shoulder. “Don’t you want to be friends with us?”
Y/N whimpered. “I really do. I guess I just needed to hear you say it.”
“If it makes you feel better. I have no problem bossing you around.” Toph’s voice was muffled from the pile they were in. 
Y/N smiled through her tears. “Thanks, Toph.”
---
A/N: listen, I don’t care if I made you cry, because I cried while writing that scene more than once and that’s all that matters. 
Taglist: @myexgirlfriendisthemoon​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @astroninaaa​ @aangsupremacy​ @beifongsss​ @crownofcryptids @welovediaaxx​ @littlefluu​ @lozzybowe​ @thebluelcdy​ @ohjustlookalive @sugarmoongey​ @fanficdepot​ @teenbiology​ @13-09-01​ @riespage​ @davnwillcome​ @naanlianid​ @creation-magician​ @lunariasilver​ @vintagerose1014516 @bcifcng​ @rockinearthbending-marauders​ @francesciak​ @thia-aep​ @aphrcditeee​ @milk-n-cheese​ @solarsuki​ @sendnuwudes @humbleseame​ @my--shitty--art​ @lovingcupcake51002​ @loganrwebb​ @celia-not-cecilia​ @treestarrrrrrrr​ @p--e--a--c--h--e--s​@velveteencurls @izzieserra​ @oddment-niwit-blubber-tweak​
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lynx-paw · 3 years ago
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Stray Kids album review no one asked for, but I still did because yes.
Every song has 3 "reviews": before looking up lyrics, after looking up lyrics and final.
1 – Cheese
BEFORE: Ohh the guitar riff. I am WEAK for guitar in this one. Probably a song I’d play waiting for the traffic light to go green. It has nice, somehow fun beat. But, we definitely could have survived without them naming types of cheese.
AFTER: Heh. A real fuck you in not romantic way.
FINAL: I appreciate the entire idea behind the song. Tho, we still could’ve survived without types of cheese.
2 – Thunderous
BEFORE: Idk why, but beginning reminds me of Rhythm Ta. Yes Changbineeeeeeey take it away.
Did I hear it right? "I’m not sorry, I’m dirty." Babes, are we okay?
Ah yes, Aussie line being more Aussie with each passing day. OMG THAT LAUGH AT 2:03 YES.
Oh I def heard it right, I’m not sorry I’m dirty. Cool, cool, ok. The rapapapam bought me, seriously.
It has very Kingdom!Ateez sound to it which isn’t a bad thing at all, I’m a sucker for Kingdom!Ateez. But… I don’t know, I miss either more intense build-up or beat drop. That would, like, totally kill me and pay for my burial.
AFTER: Oh. Changbin’s part is really, really good. Okay, okay, seriously props to whoever wrote the lyrics. But we really could’ve survived without I’m not sorry, I’m dirty.
Kkundeuri wasseoyo and Gyerani wasseoyo need to have a collab if you know what I mean hehe 😉
FINAL: I feel like my precious I.N had so much fun in this one, so I give bonus points. The song is good, the lyrics are bomb, but the sound lacks intensity. I wish they went with a bit harsher tone, the song would be absolute bomb slap then. All in all, I like it.
3 – Domino
BEFORE: GOING IN STRONG YES. Yeah, goodbye brain, I’ll be going around singing Domino, domino, DOMINO. Yo, that stop and then intense rap at approximately 1:15 is very nice touch.
Don’t kill me, but in my very humble opinion, Chan’s parts feel a bit out of place in the song.
Oh… I don’t like the pace change starting at 2:40…
AFTER: Ah, yet another fuck you, I’ll succeed no matter what you say song.
FINAL: Kinda have a feeling it might grow on me after a few days, but right now… Hm. I don’t know. Maybe one of those songs which need to marinate and which might slap after I come back to them randomly.
4 – Ssick
BEFORE: Oh, the beginning gives me Ikon vibes, yes please. Okay, okay, this drop at 0:50 is really good, I like it very much.
This song has nice transitions and per se, variety, that maybe previous songs lack. For now, my favourite song. It is repetitive, just like the previous ones, and that’s not a bad thing, but I think this one has the best mix of repetitive and filled with variety in beat.
AFTER: 3rd fuck you haters song? I mean sure, fuck haters, but isn’t dedicating 3 songs to them giving them a bit too much attention? This one isn’t just about fuck you tho, it’s also about being there for your friends and I like that aspect. It’s like fuck you to haters and i wuw you to friends and supporters.
Also very, very, very important and positive part of the lyrics is “Oh yeah, I know that I don’t have anything special. But, yeah, do you know that I myself am special?” This, boys, girls, rocks and flowers, this is very valuable lesson. You don’t have to own something special because you are special by just being. Don’t belittle yourself. Even skz is telling you that.
FINAL: From all the fuck you songs this is probably my favorite.
5 – The View
BEFORE: Awww very summery song, very sweet since the beginning. OH SHIT I AM CRYING WTF?
Fuck, this reminds me of a feeling, if you get me, but I don’t know which one? I like it. I LIKE IT SO MUCH. YES. BRING IT ON. BRING ON THE TEARS YES. (i am probably the only person being excited to cry but that says a lot about me sush please).
This is one of the songs I’d LOVE to randomly hear on the radio. Just driving to the beach, vibing you know.
And getting attacked by sudden rap and beat change because why tf not, you know?
AFTER: “Clouds like a submarine swim” I told you, summer vibes.
Ah, fuck. Here, it’s this why I cried. I sensed something in the way they delivered this part of the song and it was this: “The road in front of me seemed dark ‘cause i never ever let it go. Now I feel comfortable, I like it, this feeling and I’ll never ever let it go.” Not to be someone who’ll be like Aha! This is the meaning behind this! but to me this reminds me a lot of feeling stuck with bad self-image, both mentally and physically, and because I said this is like a summer song, my brain immediately goes to all those summers I hated my body and this one being the first summer ever that I didn’t actively hate myself. This part of lyrics is for me like finally breaking out of the shell or maybe a better expression, shedding old skin and just leaving it behind, going forward with new, more positive mentality and a sense of liberation.
“I like the view right now” is like 1) i literally like the view (sunset on beach type of vibe), 2) i like looking at you/myself and realising you’re feeling comfortable around me/yourself/myself, and/or 3) i like this new view on life I have.
Look, I could literally quote entire song and give in depth analysis of on what level they resonate with me, but I won’t do that. I’ll just say these are one of the best lyrics I’ve ever read and they’re so well combined with music ughhh. And the fact this song came at the right time in my life *insert chef’s kiss*
FINAL: I love it. It was really good before I read lyrics and after it’s like three times better. One of my faves on the album.
6 – Sorry, I love you
BEFORE: Nothing special for except for the slight angsty tones I hear. I like it, but nothing crazy. I’d like it to pop up on my playlist occasionally. I think it would be an absolute BOP for me if it was leaning more to the rock genre. Like, a bit slowed down with accent just on guitar and their voices. But, that’s just me always being a sucker for rock ballads. For some reason to me, best ballads and most songs which evoke strong emotion from me are the ones which accentuate the words, the voice and one instrument.
AFTER: Very convinced this song is written by the one who is watching Nevertheless (is it Seungmin? or someone else?). My roommate strongly disagrees with that, but look, I don’t make rules, I think, I say.
FINAL: I hate to admit it but it’s catchy. I’d love live band version of this ngl.
7 – Silent Cry
BEFORE: Interesting intro huh. But something doesn’t sit with me right with the rest of the song. I don’t know what. I really don’t.
AFTER: Yeah sure, hit me with depresso lyrics right in the beginning.
FUCK. The lyrics are really killing me.
FINAL: I just can’t suffer through music. Lyrics are amazing, but idk, music is so not my style and somehow don’t suit the lyrics.
8 – Secret Secret
BEFORE: WAIT WHY DO I HAVE EMOTIONS ALREADY IT’S ONLY BEEN LIKE 10 SECONDS INTO THE SONG. Fuck. I’m on the verge of tears. Imagine listening to this and then Ex I would straight up have emotional breakdown. Yeah, yeah, I’m crying. Leave me alone. The softness, the preciousness, the cuteness, ugh I am broken™.
AFTER: Yeah, fuck. I’m crying again.The lyrics are killing me.
FINAL: This song makes me very emotional, I am a literal mess right now. Kill me, resurrect me, kill me again.
9 – Star Lost
Not my type of song. Like, nothing’s wrong, it’s just so not my type.
10 – Red Lights
BEFORE: Well, the beat drop for sure slaps. The song reminds me of something, it’s either a movie or a song, but I can’t remember. And that’s not a bad thing, I just hate the fact I can’t remember what it reminds me of.
AFTER: “I’m staying up all night again.” I see what you did there, tsch.
“Now tell me you hate me I can’t stand you any longer. But I know, you and me, there’s nothing I can do.” this is very good. I like this.
FINAL: This song could be about so many things. Lust, control problems, feeling of losing yourself, not knowing what your stage personality is and what is real you, anxiety, insomnia, depression… The thing they really managed to do is achieving a level of intensity. I like the song more after I read the lyrics, but I have to say I thought it would be much, much more intense and in your face. I’ll let it crawl in my mind and heart. Slowly. Hehe.
11 – Surfin’
BEFORE: I’m not a fan of summer. Or summer songs. But this is good. Wtf. Something’s going on with me lol. I have nothing much to say, I like the song, that’s it hahah.
AFTER: Felix talking about working 24/7 isn’t something I thought I’d hear in such a summery song.
“My head is overheated just like my laptop.” yo Changbin, mood.
FINAL: I hate summer songs, but this one slaps. This is the only summer song I’ll ever love and accept. Absolute bop.
12 – Gone Away
BEFORE: Oh the beginning surely is something. Oh no, no, no, no, no, I’ll cry again. Oh no. I’m dead. Fuck. I’m crying without lyrics, what’s going to happen after I listen with lyrics? Fuck man.
OH SHIT WHAT WAS THIS AT 3:00? THEY’RE PULLING OFF SOME MAYFLY SINGING UNIT THING I AM LITERALLY DEAD HERE. My. Jesus.
AFTER: Yeah, I’m crying a river. Pass me handkerchiefs.
FINAL: Seungmin, stop watching Nevertheless.(Don’t. I need more heartbreak songs ty.)
13 – Wolfgang
- The song I lowkey hated on Kingdom, but it crawled in my mind and heart later. Hyunjin just added some spice heh.
14 – 애
- Not gonna comment much, this could be the worst song ever and I’d still adore it because of what the song means. And who it brought back 😊
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gummie-crayon · 3 years ago
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thoughts on the new ep? :3
OK SO ,
1 . it was rly guud i loved the ruube goldberg aspect and ofc im happy w the remus content
2 . LOGAN fuucking logan now were talking abt the theory/my interpretation stuuff , this is all juust my opinion so if uu disagree thats ok ofc !
ok lets start with a hot take ; i do not think logan gets ignored any more than the other sides do , and he ignores the other sides too . even in the actual episode we can see logan getting listened to . thomas does some chores , thomas does the puzzle and coloring , thomas does what he is told . he listens to logans ideas even if hes not happy with them . thomas listens to logan for the majority of this episode . (and the part where he doesnt listen will be talked abt in a second)
so if logan is getting listened 2 duuring this episode , why did he freak ouut like that ? bc thomas was being ignored ! part of his anger , and the reason it came ouut so aggressively , is becauuse of thomas’s cuurrent situuation . the entire episode hes being “ignored” by nico , who in reality was at work / sleeping , buut thats hard 2 consider when uur anxious . so thomas is fruustrated and uupset to the point of intruusive thouughts . right before he snaps it cuuts to thomas looking at his texts , and im not the best at reading emotions buut that looked like anger to me . anger at himself and maybe at nico . thomas’s anger came ouut throuugh logan .
the “who do youu really want to scream that at” is most likely talking abt nico . nobody else rly makes sense imo . thomas has been listening to logan all day so it wouuldnt rly make sense if it was him .
when thomas stops listening , i absolutely think thomas was fine . he juust solved the root of his intruusive thouughts , and now has a great distraction for if they come back ! this is a great opportunity for him , why wouuld he want to stay and do chores instead of hang ouut with nico ? like seriously , youud do the same . i dont get why people are uupset at him for this .
the muusic in the backgrouund says “stop trying to ruule the world” as thomas leaves and logan looks arouund . this is a pretty clear indication that logan is being a lil overbearing , i cant really tell what his reaction to this is , hes either uupset abt work not being done or realizing hes not going abt schedules right . im hoping for the latter . schedules like that dont work for everyone , and they clearly dont work for thomas .
in the endcard logan complains abt “apollo” not having influuence , which made me think apollo wouuld be god of eduucation or smthn and logans complaining , buut no ? apollo is god of (copied from google) ; “archery, music and dance, truth and prophecy, healing and diseases, the Sun and light, poetry, and more” . the truuth part definitely sticks ouut , maybe hes implying januus did smthn ? im not really suure , buut if hes talking abt himself he shuud shuut uup coz he was listened to almost all day lol .
also of couurse i have to mention virgil sassing patton w the “thank goodness youure giving him permission” , its a reference back to when patton was “giving permission” to thomas to have bad thouughts sometimes , which is obviously pretty shitty , remuus doesnt need permission to exist , nor does thomas need permission to be imperfect . and virgil is actuually calling it ouut which i am v happy abt
also also the “stay connected” muural , it has all the colors of the sides , and some advice theyre definitely going 2 need considering januus is doing whatever the fuuck they did , and the ‘dynamic duuo’ is falling apart apparently . and its been said already , buut thomas is standing in front of the ‘o’ which cuuld be for orange !
ok thats it , i dont have anything else that i havent already seen posts on , ty for reading :o]
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beauvibaby · 4 years ago
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Across The Street — Part Two
read part one here
a/n: just a short two parted series for y’all, I hope you enjoyed it!
Surely this wouldn’t be easy.
Those words were all that ran through your mind, but, if you’re being truthful, you didn’t know if it was anything to be worried about. Considering how he just kissed you and walked off, who does that?
But then, he started texting you daily, and sneaking flirty comments in when you’d see him in public, just enough to keep your mind at ease. Not to mention the kisses stolen when it was just the two of you. He wasn’t used to something like this, for him it kind of just always happened, but with you, it was different. He wanted to show you how you should be treated, and he hated to admit that how he normally went about things wasn’t how you deserved to be treated.
“Good luck on your first day!”
His text read, following a good morning message as well, it was finally time for you to start watching Steven and Emily, you were beyond ecstatic to fall into a routine. You needed it, a constant in your life. You were at a red light, just outside the kids neighborhood when you sent him a thank you, and told him to have a good day. It sounded cliche, but the two of you didn’t have that awkward phase, you skipped straight into being comfortable together.
Parking your car, you went inside and proceeded to have an amazing first day, both of the kids so happy to have you there, putting their mom at ease. Emily clung to your hip most of the day, still being new to walking, but she happily babbled to you whenever she wasn’t napping, and Steven was proudly showing off his Lego collection to you, and adorably telling you how Emily wasn’t allowed near them because she tried to eat them. You gasped, making him feel proud that he at least thought he taught you something new. By the end of the day you were beaming ear to ear, and couldn’t help but call Tyler on your drive home, you didn’t think much of the gesture, but Tyler did.
“Hello?” He answered, confused, not expecting to hear from you, not that he was complaining. “Tyler! I just had the best first day, I’m already in love with those kids, they’re so sweet, and cute, oh my god!” You rambled, stopping when he began to laugh over the phone. “What?” You pouted, even if he couldn’t see you. “Nothing, it’s just–am I the first person you called?” He questioned, and your face warmed up, “maybe.” You sang, he laughed under his breath. “That’s sweet, baby.” The word slipped before he could stop it, and you swear you couldn’t get even redder than you already were. “Mhm, who else would I call?” You teased him, listening as he went silent, you heard movement before he spoke, “dunno, Cassidy? Henry? Jenny?” He offered, laughing groggily, “oh my god! I’m sorry, your nap.” You rushed checking the time, they were away for a game, the time difference, you felt terrible. “S’alright.” He mumbled, “go to sleep, Ty.” You demanded with a giggle, “call me after the game?” You added in a questioning tone, unsure if that was pushing the bounds of this new relationship. “It’ll be so late there.” He reminded you. “I don’t care.” You admitted, realizing how badly you wanted to see him now. “Ok, ok, I’ll call.” He laughed softly, “bye, Y/N.” He murmured, “bye.” You repeated, hanging up the call, chewing your lip, a smile evident on your face.
“Why are you so happy?” Henry teased the second you walked in, you rolled your eyes, slipping your shoes off by the door, “it was my first day remember?” You called, walking through the kitchen, “how was it?” He paused whatever show he was watching, looking over the back of the couch towards the kitchen. You pulled out something to cook for dinner, “it was great! They’re such a nice family.” You gushed, not boring him with the details, knowing he wouldn’t bother to listen anyways. “I’m going out with Jenny again tonight.” He spoke over his show as he turned it back on. Your eyebrows shot up, “really?” You squealed, bouncing in the kitchen. Henry only laughed in response at your enthusiasm. You were happy that the two were working out so far, and Jenny was the only one who knew about you and Tyler. Your mind drifted back to him as you cooked, about what it would be like to go on a proper date with him, not sneaking off when you were with your friends, or hushed conversations at night.
“Seriously, you're terrifyingly happy.” Henry grimaced, walking past you after he got ready for his date, you scoffed, trying to kick him as he walked past but he dodged it. “Am I not allowed to be happy oh dearest brother of mine?” You mumbled, scooping a spoonful of your rice and beef into your mouth. “I didn’t say that! It just seems like more than a good first day of work…” he trailed off, eyeing you suspiciously. “Is it a boy?” He raised an eyebrow, you shrugged, “don’t wanna be late for your date, Henry.” You pointed to the time, and he gasped, panicking as if she wasn’t just downstairs, but rightfully so, because then he’d have no excuse for being late. “Have fun!” You called as the door shut, slinking your way to your room after doing the dishes, you wasted time on your phone until the game was supposed to start. After making sure you had your things ready for work again tomorrow, your music cut off as you got a notification, making you rush over to your phone. A Snapchat from Tyler, a simple photo of his laced up skates, “almost game time, you gonna watch?”
You laughed, rolling your eyes, you already had the channel on the TV, and your Seguin jersey, of course you had one, it had been–at the time–a terrible Christmas gift from Henry, but now it wasn’t so bad. You walked over by the TV, taking a silly selfie, “of course I’m watching, I’m offended you thought I wouldn’t!”
He opened it nearly instantly, and you turned pink as you got the notification of him taking a screenshot. “That better be my jersey.” A chat, instead of a photo, “no, it’s Roope’s.” You laughed, receiving a string of angry emojis from him. You felt a little daring tonight, and you felt good, running off a high from today, so you stepped into the bathroom, turning to the side so the number on the sleeve showed, sending him a picture, the caption only being a winking face. This time you chuckled as he took a screenshot, he wasn’t shy, that’s for sure. He didn’t respond, which you expected as the game was supposed to start in a few minutes. You curled up against your headboard, plugging your phone in beside your bed and snuggling in for the game. Happy that Henry was out, giving you the chance to shout at the game as much as you want without him questioning your sudden concern for the players, Tyler specifically. But it was a good game, an easy game, which was good, as you weren’t sure you’d be able to handle anything serious happening when they were so far away.
When you woke up to your alarm, realizing Tyler never called, you were slightly upset, but it melted away when you saw the texts from him in your phone.
“Are you up?”
“Told you it was gonna be late, goodnight Y/N”
You laughed, typing out a congrats and good morning text before beginning your new routine for the day.
It went like this for a while, the boys gone on a string of away games for a couple of weeks, which felt like an eternity to you.
You were thankful for Henry’s ever changing work schedule, since he was working late tonight, installing traffic lights, you were going to Tyler’s house, he just got back this afternoon and insisted you come over, since you would have just been sitting alone at home. You were suddenly very aware that you were coming straight from work, your clothes reeking of the baby food Emily had spilt on you today. You grimaced, not coming to this realization until you were pulling up his driveway. No going back now, the dogs started barking when they heard your door shut, they came running out as Tyler opened the front door for them. “Hi puppies!” You shrieked kneeling in the grass, allowing them to smother you in licks and tail thumps. Gerry the youngest, and most excited jumped, putting his paws on your shoulders, sending you backwards into the grass. “Gerry!” Tyler laughed, coming over to you, you were a giggling mess underneath the dog, as he pinned you down, licking the sides of your face repeatedly. “Gerry, that’s enough.” Tyler spoke again, looking down at you with outstretched hands when the dog moved, you pouted, letting him help you up. “Don’t be so mean to him.” You mumbled teasingly as Gerry nudged between the two of you, Marshall and Cash calming down and sitting on either side of you. “Are you more excited to see me or the dogs?” Tyler questioned, wrapping his arms around your waist, you held your chin in thought. “Oh definitely the dogs.” You answered, laughing when he tried to move away from you. “No.” You whined, throwing your arms around his neck, “I missed you.” The words slipped from your mouth, but you couldn’t care to be embarrassed as he hummed in response before kissing you, maybe it was the two weeks apart, but this was definitely the best kiss you’ve had in your short relationship. He squeezed you a little tighter, “Ty.” You mumbled pulling away as he chased your lips, “Tyler.” You spoke again, laughing as he opened his eyes with a dramatic whine. “We’re still in your front yard.” You reminded him, he looked around, “whoops.” Dragging you inside, the dogs following happily.
You stayed tucked under his arm, giggling when he looked at you oddly, “what’s that smell?” He inquired, tilting his head to the side, you covered your mouth, hoping to hide the almost snort that fell from it. “Did you just snort?!” He gasped, trying his best not to laugh hysterically. “It’s baby food.” You answered, between your laughs, “the smell.” You added when he looked lost, “oh!” That sent him into a real fit of chuckles, “did you want a shirt?” He asked once he calmed down, you bit your lip but nodded, you saw his eyes flicker to your lips but he didn’t say anything. You followed him around the large house, trying to remember your way around. “So I was thinking.” Tyler trailed off, as he pulled a random stars shirt from his closet, “is that ever a good thing?” You retorted, watching as he gasped. “Well never mind then.” He huffed, handing you the shirt, making his way out of the room so you could change the material. “No, what is it?” You questioned following him, easily slipping the shirt on, it ended about mid thigh, but it didn’t matter as you had jeans on. “I was going to cook–“ he glanced back, eyeing you over, his words coming to a halt. “Uh, cook? Did you want to stay for dinner?” He managed to get out, you smirked, knowing his reaction was related to seeing you in his shirt. “I’d love to stay for dinner.” You answered with an innocent smile, resuming your spot under his arm, he nodded, clearing his throat as he walked. You laughed softly, such a guy.
You pushed yourself up onto the edge of the counter, swinging your legs girlishly, Tyler turned to face you, you motioned him closer. “You played so good when you were gone.” You mumbled, resting your arms over his shoulders, like this was a normal occurrence, his hands rested just above your knees. “Yeah?” He smiled, “you watched?” He questioned, hoping this was going in the way your touches were leading, but if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t be mad, he wouldn’t rush you. “I watched every game.” You mumbled, his smile only widened, “every game?” He smirked, sliding his hand up a little higher. “In your jersey.” You whispered, one hand moving up to play with his hair. He still didn’t make a move to kiss you. “Ty, do I have to spell it out, or are you going to make a move.” You whined, suddenly worried that he didn’t even want to be with you like that. You pushed him back, “did I read this wrong? Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed.” You rushed, hiding your face in your hands, Tyler grabbed your hands, moving them off your face. “No, you definitely didn’t read it wrong.” He pulled you in for a kiss, smirking when you sighed into it, his arms moved around your back the tips of his fingers dipping into your back pocket. You leaned away, keeping your forehead pressed against his. “I believe I was promised dinner first.” You teased, watching as he laughed, “I’m more of a dessert first kinda guy.” He mumbled, “Tyler Paul Seguin!” You shrieked, lightly whacking his arm, laughing but not fighting him when he pulled you back in. Yeah, it was a late dinner that night.
You looked in front of where Tyler parked, and over at him, then down at your clothes, “why are we so dressed up, to go to the park? At night?” You questioned, looking at him with confused eyes. Over a month of dating him, and he still managed to confuse you. Secret dating, keep in mind, so you were still learning somethings about each other. “Because, I didn’t want you to figure out what we were doing, and I thought you would like it.” He answered, cheeks pink, he shut the jeep off, demanding you stay in your seat as he hopped out. You giggled but agreed, not wanting to ruin his hard efforts, he opened the door for you, holding his hand out for you. “And they say chivalry is dead.” You laughed, allowing him to help you down, he grabbed your other hand, steadying you when you stumbled a bit in your heels. “Are we going in the grass?” You questioned, before he could shut the car door, “yes?” He answered skeptically. You placed a hand on his shoulder, using it to steady yourself as you reached down and pulled your heels off. “I’d sink if I tried to walk in the grass in these.” You laughed when he looked at you confused, he nodded, understanding what you meant. “Are you going to get cold?” He sounded concerned, releasing your hand to reach into the backseat while you threw your heels onto the floor of the passenger seat. He pulled out a basket, and your face fell into a happy pout. “Tyler, that’s so cute.” You gasped, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “Oh thank god.” He mumbled, the tension in his shoulders releasing. “You were nervous?” You asked, smiling as he laced your fingers together again.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be nervous? I have to impress you.” He gasped dramatically, you smiled with a shake of your head, “you don’t have to do anything special to impress me.” You assured him, allowing him to lead you to a spot in the grass, a blanket already there, you smiled again, in awe of the effort he went through. “So cute.” You grinned, carefully sitting in your dress, he followed, sitting beside you, popping the basket open. You threw your head back in laughter when the food in the basket was takeout from your favorite restaurant, coincidentally the one you had went to the first night you moved here. “Surprise.” Tyler laughed, opening the container, ���you remembered?” You gasped seeing the same pasta you ordered that night. He shrugged, looking down as he stuck a fork into his food, “aw, bub, thank you.” You placed your hand on his leg, “this is all really sweet.” You added, giving him a quick kiss, “I’m glad you like it.” He mumbled, shifting in his spot, taking another bite of his food. You put your food down, moving to be in front of him, holding back your insecurities, “are you alright, Tyler? You’re acting weird.” You questioned, sitting in front of him. “I’ve never done stuff like this.” He admitted, finally, finally, meeting your eyes. “What?” You didn’t understand what he meant.
“Romantic stuff, personal stuff, I just, I’ve never wanted to do it for someone before.” He explained, watching as you nodded, processing his words, “I’m flattered that you want to do those things for me, I really am, but Tyler. I don’t want you to think you have to do this to impress me, I’m perfectly happy spending our dates watching Netflix and playing with the dogs.” You explained, wishing he would understand that, this wasn’t how you wanted tonight to go. “Yeah, but you deserve this too.” He sighed, also frustrated with how this date started going. You shook your head, taking a bite of your food, “we’re trying too hard.” You deadpanned, and it was true, both of you were trying to rush this along, but you didn’t have too. There was no rush, there was no need to speed it up, you already knew each other, and maybe, just maybe, that’s why the two of you were trying to be farther along than you were. “I know.” He sighed, undoing a button on his shirt, slumping down more. “Let’s just talk then.” He added, relaxing as he realized you felt the same.
“Mhm, this food is cold but good.” You laughed, bringing your teasing back into the date, Tyler chuckled, desperately stabbing at his pasta, the noodles continuing to mush and roll away from his fork, “how’s work?” He asked, missing the stories you would call and tell him when he was on the road, you grinned and pulled your phone out, showing him the video you took of Emily walking completely on her own to Steven. He felt much more at peace as the two of you fell into easy conversation, and how he could look at you while you spoke and see the happiness you emitted as you talked about them. “They’re cute.” Tyler commented, smiling at the pictures of them you had, “I love them, it’s not even like a job, you know? I just love going to see them every–what? Why are you looking at me like that?” You cut yourself off, catching the way he was smiling, his most genuine one so far. “Cause you’re cute when you ramble.” He answered in a duh tone, “see this is much better.” You grinned, scooting closer to him, letting out a surprised shriek when he pulled you over one of his legs, leaving you sitting between them, your back against his chest. He smiled, placing a lazy kiss to your cheek, “can I ask something?” He murmured, wrapping his arms around your torso. “Anything.” You mumbled, leaning further into his hold, when he didn’t speak you looked up to see him smiling down at you fondly.
“It’s stupid, but I’ve always wondered–more so now, what you were really crying about on the dock that night.” Tyler explained, confusion settling on his face when you started giggling uncontrollably, never thinking you’d be having this conversation. “What?” He questioned when you looked at him and started laughing harder, you took a breath, calming yourself down. “It’s stupid, Ty, you wouldn’t understand.” You mumbled, it didn’t matter if he knew now, he was your boyfriend after all, you just knew he’d be confused. “Try me!” He whined, now really interested at the fact you were laughing about it now, but crying about it then. “I was the first one of my friends to have boobs.” You spoke bluntly, and he stared at you, trying to determine if you were being serious. “You were crying over that?” He mumbled, eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Oh my god,” you paused to laugh, smoothing the wrinkles on his forehead out, “it’s not like guys, girls were mean because of it. And older guys would stare, it was just not a good year.” You laughed, Tyler still looking at you uncertain, “why did I ask.” He muttered, nuzzling his face into your neck. “Dunno, babe.” You sighed, happy with his reaction to the pet name, you could feel him smiling against your skin. He was definitely the one that used your name less, but maybe now you’d start using his name less too.
****
Jenny smirked at you as you kept changing your mind about what to wear to this house party, more of a get together but you were certain there would be more people there than you thought. “You don’t want to be obvious.” She reminded you, being the only one that knew about you and Tyler, tonight would be the first time you two were hanging out in such a public setting with all your friends around, and you were wondering how it would go, and quite honestly, how you would keep yourself from kissing him the second you got there. “I know, but I also want to know that he’s looking at me.” You spoke sheepishly, holding the two options out for her to survey. “Oh, definitely this one.” She pointed to the light wash skinny jeans, and burgundy sweater, “with those cute cut out boots!” She added, clapping her hands in success. You laughed, but did as she said, feeling good about yourself once you had the outfit on. “Are you guys ready yet?” Henry groaned from the living room, the two of you laughed, Jenny pulled her sweater on, giving you a smile, “let’s do this.” You were so grateful that she was your friend as much as she was your brother's girlfriend, it was the ideal situation to get along with someone so important in his life. “Quit rushing us.” Jenny chastised him once you two walked out of your room, he rolled his eyes but gave her a quick peck before heading to the door.
You arrived at Tyler’s house, shooting him a smile when he saw you, nothing too conspicuous, Roope waved, as well as some of the other guys who were here. Jamie gave you a quick hug, you’d grown quite close to him over the past couple of months, considering how often he was around Tyler. You made your way to the kitchen, grabbing yourself a drink, jumping when you felt arms wrapped around your waist. “Hi, baby.” Tyler mumbled, spinning your around for a quick kiss, you smiled against him, “hi.” You breathed out, “don’t get us caught.” You demanded, lightly pushing at him when he placed a kiss to the side of your neck. “Just getting my fix.” He teased, giving you one last peck before putting some space between the two of you. He started a casual conversation with one of the guys while they walked into the kitchen, getting themselves some drinks too. You snuck out, squeezing past them, mumbling a sorry when your hand grazed over Tyler’s. He smiled at you, hiding a laugh from your purposeful action.
“Hey, Y/N.” Roope smiled when you sat beside him on the couch, “hey, how’ve you been?” You questioned, settling into random conversation with the group around you, Henry being across the room with Jenny glued to his side, Roope beside you, and Esa beside him with his girlfriend. “Good, what about you?” He answered, keeping the talking going. You soon drifted into talking about random things, from work, to hockey, to random stories from over the years. Your head snapped up when Tyler walked in, a girl trying to keep herself tucked into his side, your stomach clenched, and you had to resist the urge reacting. Of course, you knew that since you wanted to keep this a secret, he couldn’t just stop his normal behavior completely. You shifted in your spot, before deciding to go get another drink, you made it a little stronger than the last one. “Y/N, are you alright?” Jenny came in beside you, she watched as you shrugged, “yeah, it’s just weird.” You admitted, giving her a solemn smile. “Maybe you guys should just stop keeping it a secret? Henry would get over it.” She offered, and you wanted to do that, but you were nervous. “I’m just afraid that if we do that, things will change, it’s been so easy! Not having to deal with people's opinions, or the boys chirping him.” You explained, sipping on your drink, the girl that was attached to Tyler just a moment ago, walked in and got herself a drink, already seeming more than tipsy enough. You shook your head, walking out as the conversation ended now. Tyler watched you walk out the back door where more people had dispersed, he discreetly followed you, pulling you to the side. “Tyler.” You sighed, he pulled you into the pool house, “don’t be mad, it’s just for show. I haven’t don’t anything with her, and you know I wouldn’t.” He rushed to explain, afraid you were upset with him. “You can’t expect it to be easy for me, how would you feel if I walked out with some guy wrapped around me?” You retorted, not meaning to snap, his face fell.
“I wouldn’t like it.” He confirmed, reaching for your waist, pulling you closer to him, “baby, I would walk out there right now with you all over me if you let me.” He assured you, he was over keeping it private after just over a month of sneaking around, he wanted to show you off, and be able to kiss you and hug you whenever he wanted. You nodded biting your lip, “I know, bub, soon, not tonight.” You whispered, pulling him in for a sweet kiss, “I promise, soon.” You added, feeling him nod against you. “Do you think you could figure out a way to stay tonight?” He mumbled, pushing your hair back. “I’ll figure it out.” You smiled, kissing him once more before sneaking out, he waited around in there for a minute, making sure nobody noticed how you both had walked out.
Instantly you went to find Jenny, hating that you were asking her but you needed a way to stay here without Henry questioning it. “Hey, Jenny, can I talk to you for a minute?” You asked, she looked up at you, smiling, Henry released her waist as she stood to follow you. “I’m spending the night here, is there anyway you could keep Henry distracted?” You pouted at the slightly older girl, she laughed, “one step ahead of you, he’s staying at my place tonight, he won’t know you didn’t come home.” She winked, strutting back to him, your mouth agape, “too much information.” You grimaced before she reached him, she laughed at you but accepted your grateful smile. As you were walking back towards the center of the party, you passed Tyler huddled around some of the guys, his cheeks pink, “is it her?” Miro asked, Tyler shook his head. “No you guys it isn’t like that.” He mumbled, “then what is it like? That girls been all over you tonight, and you don’t get marks on your back for no reason.” Jamie chirped the younger guy, your stomach dropped to your feet. They didn’t notice you as you walked by.
Before you knew it, everyone was gone, and you had more than one to many drinks. You were sitting on the couch, trying to hold your emotions together, but the alcohol only made you want to cry more. Tyler sighed, sitting beside you, for the first time all night, and only then did he realize how much you had drank. “Baby?” He laughed, reaching for your hand, his face quickly falling when you yanked away from him, he wasn’t completely in the wrong here, you were the one keeping it secret, but now your insecurities were getting the best of you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He tried again, you shrunk away from him, “I don’t want to talk about it.” You sniffled, wishing you could hide. He shook his head, moving in front of you, “talk to me, don’t do this.” He murmured, grabbing your hands before you could move again, you looked down at him as he kneeled in front of the couch, he rested your connected hands on your lap. “I just–are you sure you want this? Want me?” You whimpered, the water slipping over your eyes, if you had been sober, you’d see the way Tyler’s heart so clearly broke when you started crying. “Y/N, of course I’m sure.” He rushed, releasing your hands to cup your face, “but you looked so much better with that other girl.” You admitted, and he realized these tears were more about yourself doubt than anything. He shook his head, “no, I look better with you, baby.” He assured, wiping at the tears, “I promise, you’re the one I want to parade around with at parties, only you.” He tilted your head down, kissing your forehead, frowning when your body slumped with a cry. “I’m sorry.” You whispered, “for what?” He gasped, leaning away to meet your eyes again.
“For keeping it a secret.” You whined, feeling your head already begin to hurt. “It’s alright, princess, let’s just get you to bed, yeah?” He murmured lovingly, helping you to your feet.
When you went to sleep that night you could swear he whispered an I love you into your hair, but you were too far gone to be certain.
Your hands shot to your head when you woke up, the pounding being unbearable, you shifted in the bed, freezing when you felt the weight of Tyler’s arm over your waist. He groaned incoherently into his pillow, “my head hurts.” You whispered, he groggily chuckled into his pillow, lifting his head slowly. “Mhm, I figured it would.” He smiled, he left a careful kiss to your head before pointing to the nightstand and laying back down. You looked over and saw a water and pain killers sitting there, you quickly took some before curling back into the bed. He watched you with a lazy smile as you rolled closer to him, “Ty?” You murmured, a hand resting on his jaw, lightly rubbing against his beard, he raised a brow at you. “I love you too.” You sighed, he widened his eyes before a cheeky smile came over his face, “I didn’t think you heard me.” He laughed, quietly, not wanting to hurt your head anymore. “I kinda took a leap of faith, assuming that I had heard you correctly.” You breathed out in relief, laying your head back down, “we can tell Henry, but not until after you make it to the conference final.” You added, smiling when he shot up, “really?” He gasped, apologizing when you winced. “Yes, now shush.”
***
This was it, the game that would tell you if they made it to the conference finals. You were sitting in the stands with Henry and Jenny, all three of you anxious beyond belief, this was a huge deal, and you were praying they’d make it through. Tyler and you had decided that if they won, you’d tell Henry tonight, right after the game, because Tyler knew he wouldn’t be able to resist kissing you during his game winning high, and well, if they didn’t, you’d probably also tell Henry tonight because you’d be a mess worrying for Tyler.
Puck drop, your heart rate picked up, grinning when Jamie won it, and sent it flying behind him. A good start, setting the tone. You could only hope the game would continue like that.
The first period did, if anything it got even better, they were ahead by two, the other team not even scoring.
The second period, that’s where things began to shift, the score was tied, Tyler was on the end of a long shift. He had been a little bit more feisty tonight, and that’s how you saw it coming, the way the player from the other team was skating right towards him, it was definitely going to draw a penalty as Tyler had passed the puck long before the opponent reached him. It felt like slow motion as you shot to your feet before they collided, Henry followed right after you, not noticing how you gasped sharply and your hands shot to your mouth. You watched Tyler’s head bounce off the ice as he went down, how thankful you were that his helmet hadn’t come off in the hit. He slid a little bit before the refs were blowing whistles constantly, swarming over to them as the opposing team member stood there, they directed him to a penalty box, Jamie skating over to Tyler as he didn’t try to get up. You watched your boyfriends hands go up to his face, hiding it from the cameras. Jenny wrapped you up in a hug, allowing you to hide your face in her hair. “It’s ok, he’s going to be fine, I’m sure.” She tried to assure you, but even her voice was shaky, it was a terrible hit.
You removed your head from her hair, and saw the team doctor making his way to the ice, kneeling beside him, he felt around his neck and shoulders, making sure nothing was broken, eventually, what felt like hours but was only two minutes, they were helping him to his feet, slowly walking him off the ice. Jamie came over to the glass in front of your section, searching for you. Jenny spotted him first, pointing him out to you. “Go.” He mouthed, having figured out your relationship quickly, you looked to Jenny with tears in your eyes, Henry coming to his senses and looking between you and the ice, eyes moving quicker than you’d ever seen. “Why you? What’s–oh my god.” It hit him, as you scrambled to make sure you had your phone, “go, go.” Jenny assured you, seeing the way you hesitated, you didn’t wait any longer, and took off towards the tunnels you’d learned your way around so well. Henry was calling for you over the sound of the crowd talking, but you didn’t stop, you could hear Jenny faintly as she told him to calm down.
You reached the locker room in record time, the security guard telling you that you couldn’t go in until they were done, you watched as people kept going in and out. Only furthering your nerves, you couldn’t be bothered to care anymore, the second they came out and one of them looked at you, you lost it. “I’m guessing your Y/N?” He spoke, a soft smile on his face, you nodded vigorously, “you can go in there now.” As you heard the loud speakers, “number 91 Tyler Seguin will not be returning to play tonight” your heart dropped, not needing to hear anything else as you stormed in there. Tyler sitting in the corner of the room, in a chair with his eyes shut, a bandage over his shoulder, and his brows furrowed in pain. You froze, letting out a cry at the sight of him, so clearly in pain, his eyes fluttered open at the sound, the second he met your eyes you were rushing over to him.
“Are you ok?” You whispered, carefully cupping his jaw, he nodded, wincing, “don’t cry because of me.” He mumbled, smiling softly when you shook your head with a breathy laugh. “You scared the crap out of me, Ty, that was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.” You sighed, gently kissing his pouted lips. “How bad is it?” You asked once you pulled away, carefully touching his shoulder, he groaned, and you instantly pulled your hand away. “Dislocation and a concussion, they put it back in, but damn it hurts like a bitch.” He muttered. “I’m sorry, baby.” You spoke gently, sitting beside him, he nodded, resting his head carefully back against the wall. You carefully played with his hair, knowing it soothed him, he smiled at the gesture, “you’re gonna put me to sleep.” He laughed gently, placing his hand on your thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. “I love you.” You murmured, moving to place your hand over his, “I love you.” He repeated, so happy that you were here with him. He leaned his head onto your shoulder, also happy that you sat on his good side, “I think Henry knows now.” You whispered.
The door opened and both of you looked over, Henry standing there in shock. “Yeah, I know.” He snapped, arms crossed, neither of you made an effort to move, he shook his head, “don’t be a dick, Henry.” You snapped, Tyler laughing but stopping as it increased the pain in his head. “Careful, bub.” You whispered, returning your hand to his hair, ignoring your brother, if he wasn’t going to be nice, then he didn’t deserve your attention. “How long?” Henry asked, in a softer tone, aware of how Tyler must be hurting. You sighed, “almost three months.” You practically mouthed, but he definitely heard you as his jaw all but dropped to the floor. “Three months?!” He snapped, and you glared when Tyler groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. You carefully pushed him off of you, “let me go talk to him.” You whispered, pecking him quickly, before dragging Henry out of there. “How? Tyler I mean–the age gap, but he’s him.” Henry stuttered out, his face pale, you shook your head. “Henry, I’m not in the mood to do this. This is why I didn’t want to tell you.” You mumbled, arms crossed as you looked up at him. “You can’t expect me to just be ok with this all of a sudden, you’re dating my best friend, that’s gross.” He snapped, and that was the last straw for you.
You tuned out the sound of the final buzzer filling the arena as you got close to Henry, “I love him, and he loves me. You’re just going to have to be a grown up about this, so you can either suck it up, and be a good brother, or you can go home and I’ll stay here to take care of my boyfriend.” You snapped, Henry looked behind you at the influx of sad hockey players, you whipped around, taking in their faces. “Oh, I’m sorry guys.” You gasped, Jamie nodding solemnly, when you turned back around Henry was walking off, not daring to give you a second look.
And then, if it couldn’t be worse, you looked to your left and saw Tyler standing there, not taking too long for him to figure out what happened. “Damn it!” He snapped, slamming his hand against the cement wall, you were there in an instant, surprised when he hugged you, hiding his face in your neck. “I’m sorry, Tyler, it’s not your fault.” You whispered, hearing the guys moving past you, they were suffering too. “Hey, look at me.” You demanded, leaning away from him, he looked at you with glazed over eyes, “you’re gonna go in there, and carefully put some clothes on, you’re going to take a minute to be with your team, and then you’re gonna come out here, and I’m gonna take you home. Everything’s going to be ok, Henry can go be a pain, I don’t care, as long as I know you’re ok.” You spoke sternly, but still had a softness in your voice. “Ok, baby, please. It’s going to be ok, I promise.” You whispered, he nodded slowly, kissing your forehead before forcing himself back into the locker room.
Finally, when he did re-emerge, he seemed to be in slightly better spirits, allowing you to take him home and stay with him.
Although, the next day you had to go back to your place, having to get ready for work, Tyler protested, milking his injuries for all he could get. “I’ll FaceTime you when the kids are napping, you’ll live, babe.” You had told him as you walked out the door, despite his whining from the couch. A man child, that was your conclusion.
When you got to the kids house, you were surprised to see them with the hockey channel on, your heart stopped for a moment as they were discussing Tyler’s injuries, of course, you couldn’t escape it. “Oh, Frank had it on last night, I didn’t even realize when I turned the tv on.” Julie spoke when she saw you looking at it, “oh, honey. What’s wrong?” She questioned, sensing your off mood as she finished cooking the kids breakfast, having a late start at her office today. “What? Nothing, I’m fine!” You assured her, the two of you had grown close, she was like an older version of you, it was nice, she really cared for you. She raised a brow at you, watching as you picked up Emily who was grabbing at your legs, you kissed the girls chubby cheek, smiling when she giggled, “Tyler Seguin,” you motioned to the tv, where somehow they were still replaying the hit, “that’s my boyfriend.” You told her, Steven shrieked. “You know Tyler!?” He shouted, a grin over his face, you weren’t sure how hockey hadn’t come up, but now that you think about it, Frank did have some stars items in his office. “I do.” You smiled down at the boy, Julie still processing it, “he’s a lucky man.” She finally spoke, sending you a smile when you blushed. “Hopefully he’s doing alright.” She added, “Frank played in college, I hated it.” She explained, seeing the way you were looking at her. Oh, “he’s alright, he’ll be back at it before you know it.” You laughed softly, Steven rambling off so many questions, apparently sharing his dads love for hockey.
“Steven, calm down honey.” His mother laughed, helping him climb into his chair at the dining table while you strapped Emily into her high chair, “I really have to be leaving for work, hopefully he doesn’t bug you too much about this new information.” Julie smiled, you waved her off, “it’s fine.”
And it was, truly, and while he was eating breakfast and rambling about hockey and asking you questions, to which you answered to the best of your availability, you had recorded a clip to show Tyler, of how excited Steven was. Which Tyler loved, and made sure to get some stuff for you to give him.
You walked into your apartment, hoping Henry had already left for work but when you saw his boots by the door you knew he hadn’t. “Y/N?” He rushed around the corner, you looked at him with wide eyes, “I’m sorry.” He mumbled, sheepishly, his face showing his regret, you hadn’t spoken to him in over a week. Ever since he found out about the two of you, “I should’ve reacted better, I mean, I should be happy that you’re dating such a good guy. Someone that I trust.” He rambled, you stayed silent, you were still angry, it hurt for him to so blatantly choose to be upset over supporting you. “Ok.” You sighed, and he stared at you blankly, “ok? All I’m getting is an ok? When you’re the ones who hid it from me?” He looked exasperated, “that’s all Tyler said too. You guys are insufferable.” Henry muttered, this peeked your interest. “Wait, you talked to him?” You questioned, finally shutting the door to the apartment. “Yeah, like three days ago, he said he wasn’t going to say anything else until I talked to you.” He looked at you skeptically when you started smiling like a fool. “Damn, you really do love him don’t you?” He sighed, shaking his head. “Just don’t kiss in front of me and we’ll be fine.” He gave in, laughing when you jumped on him in a hug. “Deal, deal, deal.” You grinned, happily rushing off to your room.
You dialed Tyler’s contact, his face popping up on your screen shortly after, “hi baby.” He grinned, only smiling more when he took in the happiness on your face. “Why are you so smiley?” He teased, you shrugged, “I talked to Henry…” you trailed off, and Tyler nodded, “Mhm, and how’d that go?” He hummed, you rolled your eyes, “I’m quoting him, ‘just don’t kiss in front of me and we’ll be fine’.” You mocked your brother's voice making Tyler laugh deeply. “It’s about damn time.”
A couple of days later you told all your friends after a game, and the two of you FaceTime Cassidy and Candace, they reacted much better than Henry, that’s for sure. Then you made it public by posting a photo on social media, the two of you smiling brightly, Tyler towering over you as he was still dressed in his skates, you were looking up at him with a goofy grin as he laughed at something Jamie had said. His arm around your shoulders and your hand resting on his chest.
“Who knew moving across the street would lead to all of this…”
taglist: @vinceduhn​ @vincecdunn​ @kempe​ @literarycharleton​ @wtfkie​ @myjacketisblue @jackiesquinn​ @summer--infinity
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neptunetheplanet7 · 3 years ago
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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 - 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬
DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!
;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader
;modern au, band au
word count: 2.0k
warnings: swearing, fluff if you squint, deep talk with jean
listen to the music masterlist
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Hitch dropped you off at home with a loud "Au revoir!" and sped off in her black car while you waved silently.
You couldn't shake the nervous feeling Hitch had left you with. It was reasonable to feel uneasy after a strange encounter like that, but nevertheless, you plastered on a fake smile when you walked inside and saw Eren sprawled on the couch.
He lifted his head from his phone when he noticed your presence. "Y/n, you're back. What did Hitch want?"
Admittedly, you felt bad about never telling your best friend, but it was too late now.
"Nothing much, she just wanted to catch up. Haven't seen her since college," You lied easily as you plopped down in the chair next to the couch. "What's new with you?"
Eren shrugged and looked at his phone. "Just trying to pass the time. Jean's headed to the airport at eight tonight. Hope you're ready to see your girlfriend." He tilted his head back while laughing.
You smacked his forehead and he recoiled in pain. "Ah! What's your problem?" Eren rubbed his forehead with a hard glare aimed at you.
"I don't have a problem, you're just being freakish."
Eren gawked. "No, I'm not! You're the real freak, being you and whatever."
"Oh, good one." You snorted. "Hey, speaking of, where is Jean, anyways?" You furrowed your eyebrows as you glanced around the house.
"You tell me." Eren repeatedly clicked his tongue while turning his attention back on his phone.
"I'll go find him then," you decided. Eren just grunted in response, too immersed with the JAEGER BOMB fan pages he was scrolling through.
You got up from the comfy chair and starting looking around the house for Jean. After your talk with Hitch, you were feeling even more nervous about Mikasa coming home. You desperately needed to talk to someone, even if it wasn't about Hitch. You just needed a good distraction from tonight.
Jean was nowhere to be found on the first floor, so you trudged upstairs in hopes of finding him. You rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, passing Mikasa's dark room, stopping when you heard a quiet string of curses from the hallway bathroom.
"Jean?" You called out hesitantly. Lightly knocking on the bathroom door, you pressed your ear to the wood in hopes of figuring out what the issue was.
"Come in," came Jean's strained voice from the small room. You peeked your head in the doorframe and took note of his frustrated figure.
"What's going on?"
"Who decided it would be a good idea to grow my hair out?" He made furious hand motions at his head.
You let out a chuckle as he angrily tried to comb his hair back. "You did."
He rolled his eyes. "Right. I think I might have to go back in time and slap myself for that one."
Shrugging, you sat on the counter next to the agitated male and crossed your arms. "Just cut it then."
"It's not as simple as that," he sighed. "I like the way it looks long, Marco likes it too. And the fans, you know. Besides, I can't cut it in a fit of rage. I'll end up like you." He snorted after his snide comment.
"That was one time! Besides, that was high school. We all did stupid things back then." You grimaced at the memory.
"Yeah, you were the stupidest. You chopped off all your hair because of something that aggravated you." He pointed his comb at you in a teasing manner.
"A little thing called feelings were aggravating me. At least I can control myself more now." You pushed the comb back at him and poked his shoulder.
"Speaking of which, I'm surprised you didn't lose your shit when I told you guys Mikasa was coming home." He went back to working on his hair.
"Seriously? I made you all clean the whole house. I could barely get through her room yesterday. Wasn't that enough of a reaction?" Your head fell onto the mirror against your back while you laughed bitterly.
"Yeah, I guess it was. I don't know what I expected honestly. I assume you aren't over her?"
"Definitely not." You sighed. "Because it's been two years since I last had any contact with her, you'd honestly think I would've moved on by now."
Jean set his comb at the side of the counter and faced you. "Did you want to move on?"
You fidgeted and looked away from his hard gaze. "It would be best if I did. I had my chance and I never took it. There was always a part of me that knew she'd come back. I had always hoped that she would, I never got to tell her how I felt, but now that it's actually happening it feels almost unreal." You met Jean's eyes and the corners of his mouth twitched up.
"Are you going to confess when she's back?" he inquired.
Your thoughts circled back to Hitch. Her threats were powerful. She knew what she was doing. Maybe you could confess to Mikasa in secret and she would never know. However, she somehow knew about Mikasa's future arrival, so you should play it safe. Plus, you hadn't seen the Mikasa you knew in two years.
"No, I don't think I will. There's so much to know about her now. She could be a completely different person." You pulled your knees to your chest.
Jean put his hands on your shoulders which made you look back up at him. "Y/n, you've been putting this off far too long. She's proven to us that she's not always going to be here. If there's ever a time to tell her, it would be now."
You stared at each other for a few moments before you pursed your lips and looked away. Jean was right. The perfect chance was right in front of you but just out of your reach. There was always an unspoken obstacle when it came to your feelings for Mikasa. Whether it was another person or yourself blocking the way. "I just need some time to think."
Jean took his hands off your shoulders and shook his head. "You, my friend, are what people call hopeless." He picked up the comb again, about to run it through his hair once more, but sighed and placed it in a drawer. "Fuck it, ponytail it is." You found it funny how often he would end up tying his hair in a low ponytail. His hair was long, but it wasn't close to the length Eren's was. Whenever Jean did his hair like that little tufts would stick out at the top of his neck and loose strands would curl around his ears.
"How long are you growing it?" You asked as you let your legs dangle over the countertop.
"I'll grow it until it becomes seriously unmanageable. It's already getting unruly." Jean softly kicked open the door and gestured to the hallway. "After you."
You hopped off the counter and gladly took his offer, sliding your arm along the balcony railing before folding your arms over the wood and resting your head on them. The hallway was only lit up by the orange light from the sunset beyond the large living room windows above the glass doors.
Jean passed by you swiftly, making cool air hit your neck. He loudly trudged down the wooden stairs and you saw him walk into the living room from your view.
Armin was sitting cross legged in the cushy rocking chair and Eren was still taking up the space of the long couch. Their eyes were trained on an ocean documentary, Armin occasionally commenting on the sea life while Eren nodded at him.
Jean sat on the loveseat under the balcony, now hidden from your view. Armin noticed your content gaze and beckoned for you to join them.
You followed Jean's path to the living room and put your hands on the back of the couch he was sitting on.
"What do you guys want for dinner? It's nearly seven o'clock." You asked the seated boys.
"Can we just get Burger King or something again?" Eren tore his eyes away from the screen to look at you pleadingly.
"Eren, we had that yesterday. I don't want it two nights in a row. That's just gross." Armin frowned at his request.
Jean placed his hands behind his head and on top of your hands. "Eat whatever you like. I have to drive to the airport soon." He patted your hands and stood from the couch.
Once Jean left the room you continued your survey. "We could have spaghetti?" You offered.
"That sounds good. I'll help you." Armin started toward the kitchen with you before tugging on Eren's sleeve. "You come too. You've been sitting on that couch all day, you lazy bum."
Eren groaned like a child being asked to do the dishes. "Fine, if I have to."
The three of you started preparing the meal in the kitchen with Armin getting the noodles out and making the meatballs, you making the sauce, and Eren filling the pot with water then leaving the rest to you and Armin.
Eren sat on a kitchen stool and pulled his phone out. You and Armin both gave him an eye roll before continuing your cooking.
It was around seven-thirty when the food was done. There were a few mishaps along the way since Jean wasn't around to help and neither you or Armin were very skilled in culinary practices. But the final product looked edible and that's all that matters.
Eren and Armin got their servings and sat down on the kitchen island stools while you went to close the curtains in living room and the dining area. You then pulled out a stool next to Armin.
The three of you ate in silence for a while before you spoke up. "Jean should be back soon."
Eren perked his head up. "Really? He said he'd get her at eight. He left an hour ago but we all know he likes to be early so who knows," He said.
"I'd give it maybe twenty minutes. Why? You nervous?" Armin twirled the pasta around their fork.
"Incredibly," you exhaled.
Eren snorted. "As expected from you. But if you're nervous, imagine how Jean feels right now. That should perk you right up." he laughed to himself while imagining Jean waiting for Mikasa, a nervous wreck.
"Are you not nervous?" You asked timidly.
Armin shrugged. "I guess I am. We've known her forever. It'll be just like seeing an old college friend. It'll be refreshing to see her after all this time. I'm more worried about how ready the house is," they explained while folding their arms.
"I'm a little nervous. You think she'll like my hair?" Eren gestured to his bun.
"No, you're ugly." Armin commented. You laughed so hard at Eren's shocked face that you didn't hear the door unlocking behind you.
Armin stopped laughing with you and stared at the door. "Mikasa," He whispered.
"Mikasa?" You questioned and looked back at the door. "Mikasa."
Sure enough, Mikasa was at the door with Jean lurking behind her.
She was wearing a black hoodie and sweatpants with dark green sneakers. Her hair was cut much shorter now. It was slightly fluffed up and messy from the plane ride. She had a few rings decorating her fingers and a small tattoo on her middle finger on her right hand. In that hand, she carried a navy blue suitcase. In the other, gripped the same scarf Eren gave her years before. She held a tired expression but you thought she looked beautiful as ever.
Your eyes widened and you parted your lips to say something but nothing would come out.  Instead, you opted for a hug. You wrapped your arms around her waist, your head just peeking over her shoulder, earning a surprised noise from her. Her arms made their way around your frame as she held you close.
"Mikasa," you could only manage to squeak out her name.
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posted: 8/27/21
neptunetheplanet7© 2021
no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.
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cosmiclatte28 · 4 years ago
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#11 It’s a Small World (You x yuta x taeyong)
Eleventh day of Christmas
It’s a Small World (You x Yuta x Taeyong) 
warning : expect a plot twist okay? It’s quite interesting, hope this can be a real life story for someone 😂💖
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I do not own the pictures, but I own the stories :) hope you enjoy this
You’re glad to spend the Christmas and New Year with your family in Japan and now it’s time to go back to work. Your company has given you an extra two days holiday since you’ve been doing great for them. Your family send you off to the airport that morning and you’ve checked in your luggage and have some hours to stroll around the airport before departing home.
The Kansai airport in Osaka was not the biggest, but you sure can still stroll around the stores and pick up last chance Japanese snacks from the mini kiosk and after purchasing your favorite chocolate bars, you walk to the waiting room.
Before sitting down, your phone vibrates and you check to see a new message coming in.
“Safe flight (y/n)! I’ll pick you up in Incheon. Don’t forget my souvenirs. XOXO TY” the message read and you slap your head for forgetting the most important souvenir.
Quickly you scroll the chat room and look for the list of things he asked.
“Ramen done, skin care done, snacks also done,” you mumble as you read through all of the things he listed. “And shit I forgot the book.”
The nearest bookstore is a ten minute walk, the directory said, and you still have an hour. Without a second thought you make your way to the bookstore. You won’t risk going back to Seoul without that book. You basically promised him you will get him one if you’re in Japan.
You pray that the book store has the complete comic series, or you’ll need to find something for an exchange.
“Here I go,” you huff when you stand outside of the small store.
You directly go to the comic area and run your eyes through the Japanese characters, mumbling their titles as your heart beats faster and faster whenever you read another title.
“Here it is! Howl’s Moving Castle!” your happy squeal almost make you get kicked out from the store, as you extend your hand to take the last complete comic book you brush someone else’s hand.
“I grabbed it first,” was all that taller man said when he saw you opening your mouth.
You are speechless and you still keep your hand on the book “Excuse me,” you finally can speak up to him.
His Japanese is fluent, so he must be someone from here. You cannot recognize his face because of his shades and his long hair.
“What? I touched the book first, your hand comes after it. So this belongs to me.” The man said in his deep calm voice.
You shake your head “Can’t you just buy something else? I want to give this to someone.”
He shakes his head “Too bad, I also need this as a gift.”
You tighten your grip and try to pull the book “No, look you don’t understand. I might die if I did not get this.”
He smirks “Oh yeah? Someone’s a diehard Miyazaki fan. Cliché” he shrugs his shoulder.
In a glance he looks like Howl, considering the loose white tee he wore, the tight pants, the long blonde hair, you just wish you can see his eyes.
Maybe he is one of those guys who do cosplay and he always dresses up as Howl so he looks like this in daily basis. Your mind must have been crazy.
A cough interrupts the cold staring contest you two held. Without letting go off the 4 comic book set, the two of you shoot your heads to the sound.
“I am sure you do not want to make a chaos here. Please put down the book, you haven’t bought that yet.” The store owner points his finger to the book you and this man hold.
Flustered the two of you just mutter a polite “Sorry,” but without letting go off the book.
“I need this like seriously, please help me out this one time.” You plead but the tall man shakes his head, okay in your mind he is an asshole now.
“I also need this, four of them to be precise.” He sighs.
You roll your eyes “But I also need four of them. Since we both need to at least bring this book, let’s share it.” You hate this, you don’t like backing down but considering your time limit and your urgent need to bring this book home, maybe bringing back 2 is better than none.
The shop owner seems to agree with you, he offers you two to share and just look for the rest series later. He apologized for not having extra copies, because the book is a best seller.
The tall man finally gives up when his phone vibrates and his alarm rings.
“Fine. You’ll take two I take two. You take the even numbers, I take the odds.” He pays the book and after thanking the shop owner he walks to you. You give him the money and walk away, only to notice he is also walking the same way.
“What’s your name?” he asks suddenly when the two of you are walking back to the gates.
“(Y/n), you?” you feel sort of cranky with him, why can’t he be a gentleman and just let you have the book.
He hasn’t introduced you his name for there is a call for the passengers leaving for Seoul.
“Whoops, that is my plane. Nice to meet you (y/n),” he waves and disappears like that.
You shake your head and mutter a curse, when you realize you’re having the same flight with him.
Slowly you queue behind the long lines and after handing the ticket, you board to the plane.
Well you tried to forget the unfavourable encounter and just explain everything to Taeyong, while wishing he didn’t hate you.
“Seat 27 H” you smile and put up your things on the cabin above your head.
You notice someone is not sitting beside you, but since you’re in the window seat you nicely make your way into the chair. You buckle your seat belt, leave a message to tell your parents you’re on board already and send Taeyong a message too that you’re on schedule. You lean back while looking out of the window, taking in one last view of the Osaka vibes.
“Good bye home,” you whisper
“I guess that window seat is mine,” a finger taps your shoulder.
“What?” you turn around to face the same man from the bookstore, “You again?!”
“Oh we meet again,” he pretends to sound surprised in his same deep voice you’re trying to forget.
He smirks and takes off his shades, “Nakamoto Yuta.” He offers a hand and to be polite you take his hand, but something didn’t feel right.
“It is my seat,” you scrunch your eyebrow.
He grins, “Well yeah by the ticket it was yours, but I always like to take the window seat. Besides I put something there already,” he shows you the book he bought is inside the pocket infront of you.
You roll your eyes, “That doesn’t mean this is yours. I paid to get the window seat.” You lied.
He acts surprised, ”Really? You’re lying. Now I usually ask them kindly to switch place with me-“
He cannot finish his sentence because you cut him “No. Sit on the aisle or find another chair Yuta.”
He smirks and shrugs his shoulder, “I thought people always fall for my smile, but not you. Fine, you won this time.” He simply sit down on the other seat and buckles his belt.
“Sorry for the bookstore incident, I hope we can still enjoy our flight back to Korea.” He said softly to you in Korean. Your eyes widen, oh he is a fluent Korean speaker.
You just nod and when you feel like there is nothing else to talk about right now, you put on the headphones and play yourself some music.
Something tickles your brain, something about Nakamoto Yuta, his name somehow feels familiar in your ear. You take off your headphone to listen to the safety procedure and that’s when Yuta speaks up again in Korean.
“Look at us,” he suddenly whispers, “We fought over the last book, fought over a window seat, both speak Korean… we have some things in common. Aren’t we basically a couple already?”
You punch his shoulder “Are you in your right mind?”
He looks at you annoyed “Didn’t you know I was flirting?”
You blush and scoff “Not that fast sir-“
He smirks “Oh Sir? You’re into that huh? Sounds interesting.” His gaze examines your face.
The way your eyes look into him with curiosity but defence, the way you hide your cheeks from blushing but your ears give away too much, and the way you bite your lips.
He winks, “Alright, I am not teasing my little lamb anymore. You might cry if I go too far. Just know that whoever dates you must be very lucky to win someone like you.”
Your heart fell for that, “Actually I am single,” you blurt that out and curse yourself when you see his gaze changes to a challenging one.
“Woah, were you hinting me?”
You shake your head “Sorry I just didn’t know I’d say that outloud.”
“People tend to tell the truth when they’re nervous. So tell me little lamb, are you nervous because I am too stunning or you’re afraid I might harm you.”
You close your eyes, it’s not the fear of him killing you in your sleep or robbing you. No, it’s pure nervousness.
“I am sorry, I need my time alone.” You give him a forced small smile so he doesn’t feel bad and you return to listening your music.
The rest of the flight, Yuta did not bother you anymore. He watched movies, played some game in his phone and even read some books.
You just interact with him when he helps you take out the things on the overhead cabin and while you wait for the luggage. He helps you with your luggage and you’re grateful for it, at least he is not a total asshole. He is actually sweet and caring, maybe he is a tsundere.
“Alright, I guess this is it. We part ways and maybe never see each other again.” Yuta pushes his trolley and you also did the same thing beside him.
You nervously chuckle, something in your hear wishes you’ll bump him once again. “Yeah, this is it. Thank you for helping me and the books.”
He laughs, “As much as I want to give you the remaining half, I promised someone this.”
You nod your head, “I understand, same thing goes to me.”
He taps his finger on the handle, “Think we might see each other again one day?”
You look to the distant, “Maybe? Hope it’s better than our first encounter.”
Yuta nods, “Yeah I wish that never happen again. So, this is it. Is someone picking you up?”
You take your phone out to see the message from the man picking you up, “Yes, my cousin is here. What about you? Taxi?”
“No, someone came to pick me up too.”
Your phone rings and both Yuta and you toss each other a glance. “Go, your cousin is here maybe.” He shoos you politely and you laugh at his action “See you when I see you! Bye Yuta!” you wave and walk with your trolley away while listening to your brother’s direction.
Yuta also picks up a call not longer after it, “Oh the mini market? Yeah I saw it. I’m walking there.”
You meet your cousin already and hug him tight “Taeyong!!! Glad you’re not late. Let’s go!” you try to bring him home first and show the other souvenirs first before finally telling him about the comic.
He ruffles your hair “I know you’re excited to go back to Seoul, but I am also here to pick up my friend. He’s also from Japan and I promised to pick him up too. He’s on his way.”
Your mind feels fuzzy but you try to ignore it, maybe you’re just nervous about telling the story. That was until you hear your cousin’s voice calling out a name you learnt today.
“Yuta!!”
“Taeyong-ah!!”
You peer over Taeyong’s shoulder and gasp when you see the same man you’ve been with the whole day.
“Yuta, this is the cousin I used to talk about, and (y/n) meet Yuta, my boyfriend.” Taeyong proudly introduces the two of you without knowing anything.
Yuta plays along and shakes your hand “The girl from the bookstore? (y/n) right?”
You smirk and play along too “Mister window seat! Yuta, true?”
Taeyong looks at the two of you with a big question mark on his face.
You stifle a laugh when Yuta nicely grabs his boyfriend’s hand and pushes his trolley to get to the car.
“We owe you a story, come let’s eat lunch and we will tell you everything!” you giggle as you push your belongings too.
Taeyong nods his head “Fine, looks like you two are hiding something. Hope it’s nothing bad.”
After loading your stuff and Yuta’s stuff, the three of you stop over a restaurant for lunch.
Once the lunch is over, you and Yuta both pull out a paper bag.
“For you, open it up and we will tell you the story.” You hand him the same bag Yuta handed over.
Taeyong curiously open the bag and screams when he sees the book, he wanted is complete here in front of his face.
“Oh the two of you did not forget! Why did you just get me two each?” he notices that soon when he arranges the comic books on the table.
“Who wanna tell?” you glance to Yuta.
He rolls his eyes, “You go first, then me.”
With that Taeyong laughs at the story both of you re-enact. He has the greatest laugh this year when he sees how you and Yuta re-do the scene while muttering the same Japanese words he did not understand.
“So, in the end both of you got me the complete set. Congratulations! None of you will die.” Taeyong ends the story with a nice wrap and the three of you can’t believe how small the world is.
See you tomorrow, on the last day!
Thank you so much!!! ily!!
Christmas masterlist
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plotscribbler · 3 years ago
Text
NSFW story time:
It was a long double at my old restaurant job. I had come back to pick up a few shifts here and there to help me have some pocket money while I got on my feet in my new home some 2 hours away.
My girlfriend got a great new job in a new town and I wasn't transitioning well. I usually welcome change but it was hard to leave the team I had, not to mention shift beers. I poured myself a tall one and sat in a booth on the patio waiting for the manager to lock up and give me ok to leave for the night.
I had another double the next day so my plan was to find a decent parking spot and pass out in the van.
I told the other closer she could leave early as it was a calm night and honestly I reveled in getting even just a few minutes to chat with Cassandra (the manager) before she cuts me off the free beer. Cass is a tom-boyish burnette, who's about 5'4" or so, and her body is that of a Pixar mom: an athletic yet curvy shape with so much ass you can see it from the front.
I'm a flirtatious guy (probably how I ended up as a server in the first place) but to be quite honest it's a miracle I haven't been fired or dumped for the things I say to Cass. She probably doesn't take me seriously, I mean how else do I manage to get nights like this where we're all alone? She's having a glass of wine and I'm keeper of a never ending pint. What could go wrong?
In my typical cringe fashion I offer her a spot at my table "because she's too beautiful to be drinking alone" and she ignores that (while sitting down at my table) before going on a long winded rant about her kids stressing her out before she could even get ready for work.
Which was extra stressful because of how her cat always wakes her up at night to use the window by her bed as a way out to go do cat business.
"The only cat business anyone should have in relation to that window; is getting onto the bed, and in between your thighs"
"hah! I wish"
"Bet! Finish your wine."
"what?"
"I'll follow you home, climb through your window and be gone before sunrise"
"I have kids you idiot" she punches my shoulder "they're gonna hear you climb into the house and if not, they'd definitely hear whatever pervery you think you can concoct in the middle of a school night. Not to mention the neighbors..."
Looking out towards the parking lot Cass pulls a cigarette from her purse.
"Hey, look at me." I pause until we make eye contact "I am 100% consenting to, and capable of..." I pause to feel calm collected and cool before continuing "- tying you up, gagging you, and fucking your brains out."
We both smile "All while pretending to climb in through your window to fulfill your rape-fantasy in a safe way that avoids prying neighbors"
She take a long drag of her cig, looking back out at the parking lot.
"Well?"
With a long exhale "I didn't tell you about my window as some kind of a hint."
"Listen, whether or not you like being taken, I would be much happier to share your bed than to sleep in my van alone."
We sit in silence for a moment. Cass staring off into the distance while I drink my pint and stare at her.
Turning to face me as she ashes her cigarette "What would you even use to tie me up with anyway?"
"The wrappings of love"
"Don't be an ass" she hits my shoulder again, harder this time "what if I were considering to indulge in your lustful insistence for a moment? Huh! How about that! What if that was your chance and you blew it!?"
"Wow, the thought of giving away control, even if only for a moment, it's insidious isn't it?" I smile again "Oh... to be honest I have soft 25' rope somewhere in the van, but my belt works fine in a pinch, might use both if you keep throwing punches at me."
"Honestly, you talk a lot of shit and the thought of humiliating you, if you can't follow through with half the nonsense that comes out of your perverted mouth, is insidious." She finishes her wine "come on!" she stands up.
"Let's go!" I cheer.
"We're not going to my house"
"Oh?"
"No, I'm not taking you home. Show me this rope"
"Alright"
We walk over to the van, in a particularly shady corner of the lot, the back half of said van is packed almost ceiling high with my music equipment I forgot to unload during the move. Part of me is thinking she's gonna troll me, so I try to make like of the situation.
"I'm not gonna tie you up in the parking lot"
"Duh, I just wanna see it."
"You're testing me? We've known each other for 4 years... I'm not a stranger!"
"No, but you say a lot of bullshit, let's say I'm just fact-checking you right now..."
I dig through the music gear in the back (knowing it's not there) "looks like you're in luck, I couldn't tie you up if I wanted to..."
"ugh, see..."
"See what? It's not like you'd consent if I did have it!"
"If you could find the rope I would let you tie my hands behind my back, but you mysteriously can't" Cass says, crossing her arms defiantly.
"You would let me rope your arms behind your back?"
"Sure! Why not? Maybe I will like it!"
"Ok, let me look in the secret hiding spot behind the driver seat." I close the hatch and open up the sliding door. There's a panel on the floor and when I open it Cass gasps.
"Gotcha!" I exclaim.
"Ok, yeah, you got me" she turns her back to me and stretches her arms out behind her. "Tie me up"
"Turn around."
"What?"
"You're not a prisoner of war, this is an intimate thing."
I close the sliding door as Cass faces me.
"Intimate? How-"
"Shhh..." I put a finger to her lips as her chocolate irises lock with my hazel ones "I'm going to take control of you now. Just say ok."
"Ok fi-oh!" she gasps as I grab her by the hips and put her up against the door of the van.
I steal the first kiss on her lips then break away, pressing her against the car with my hand on her chest. Lifting the rope over her shoulder with a flick of my other wrist I see her uncertainty.
"Be still. Do nothing unless I say so, you are perfect."
Cass' eyes light up like she'd never heard that before, like I just opened more possibility than even she knew was available.
I turn her around, pressing my hips against hers, making the rope loops over her shoulder and behind her back then mirroring this over her other shoulder.
"I thought you were going to tie my hands?"
"I'll get there" as I start to lace a knotting pattern from her left arm to her right and back again. Slowly bringing her elbows parallel to each other.
"By the time your wrists are bound you will be ensnared... all mine!" I say with a smirk "I am here to take good care of you."
"Ok, actually this does feel pretty nice, my back needed a stretch anyway..."
"I want you to let go of the control you assume day in and day out and be free. Be mine."
"You're not gonna make me call you daddy are you?"
"No, to be honest, I like being called master or god, because I have an ego that is spoiled rotten, but I wouldn't want something like this to make our work relationship impossible"
"Oh my, that's tight, will you take a picture when you're done? I wanna see."
"Just relax." as I pull her wrists together and tie the final knot "You're all tied up"
I snap a picture with my phone and lean into her from behind to show her.
"Wow this posture really forces my boobs up and out, not that you can see it from this angle"
"Yes, you look incredibly beautiful"
She grabs at my jeans "what are you gonna do now?" Grinding her butt against me.
I pin her to the van with my chest against her arms and whisper in her ear "the way you're tied up right here" rubbing her arm "is the same way I'm tied up in this parking lot." I can't help but bite her ear and smell her thick espresso colored hair "I want your lust, I want your body, and I want dominion over you"
I run my hands from the loops over her shoulders to the small space of skin on her forearms.
"Fuck...." she says with bated breath "Take me"
I wanted to tease her more, but I honestly didn't expect to get this far in even my wildest of fantasies.
Cass was already pulling at my belt, even with her hands bound behind her back she couldn't help but fight to have things her way.
"No" I push her against the van so she can't reach "You're mine right now, you do as I say."
Cass moans with mixed frustration and enjoyment, then she flips her hair into my face "why don't you make me?" wiggling that wonderfully voluptuous backside tauntingly with a wink and smile.
I know what she wanted.
So I spanked her...
This woman has so much ass, her hands weren't even a little bit in the way. I took a handful with the first smack and it was like holding the holy grail.
She cooed, making fists doomed to dangle helplessly amidst an array of slaps on her butt.
"You."
**smack**
"Honestly."
**whip**
"Thought."
**whack**
"That I."
**pop**
"Would just fuck you in this parking lot??" **crack**
"YES!" her voice echoes out in the otherwise quiet and empty space.
We both pause to appreciate the possibility of someone hearing us. I take that moment to unbuckle my belt.
"Fine, I will."
"Do you have a condom?"
"What, you mean you don't want another kid?"
"Don't even joke about that."
I'm pulling her leggings down to her ankles "I only have two packs of 3" then I'm kissing the back of her calf, up her thigh, around a pinkish red handprint, then over to her waist "so I might need a couple more if you don't mind waiting here for me"
"With my arms tied and my pale ass out for the whole wide world to see? No thanks"
"It's decently red now" my jeans fall to the floor
"I know! God..." she inhales when I feel how wet she is "I did not expect you to spank me so hard"
"You liked it" I put my dick up to her hands, letting her get an idea of what I'm going to put inside her.
"I loved it." Cass puts her bodyweight against the van, poking her ass out and spreading her legs.
I thrust along the lips of her dripping pussy while she whispers to me "will you please put a condom on already?"
I smack her clit a couple times with the tip just to hear her groan and clench her eyes shut tight.
"Put. A. Condom. On!" she growls at me impatiently before biting her lower lip.
Seeing my manager like this is giving my life new meaning. I open the driver's door to pull out one of the afore mentioned packs and put one on, leaving the rest on the roof of the van.
The secret ingredient is definitely the crime of it all. I've been shamelessly hitting on my manager since we met, and now I can't help but take my sweet ass time sliding up inside Cassandra on the edge of the parking lot outside of our job.
I always imagined a hotel room or her kitchen, never outside! Not to mention she wanted to get tied up and spanked first! *chef's kiss*
The way she gasps as I push in every inch I have for the first time gives me goosebumps. Her body feels like caramel tastes: you can't quite get enough, but almost can.
I grab her waist on both sides, feeling for that V line at the top of her wonderfully thick thighs.
"Let's start real slow beautiful" I pull back just as patiently, leaving only the tip still inside.
"I love it when you call me beautiful, I don't always feel that way..." she says, gyrating her hips towards me, making me feel like I could already explode!
Wrapping one arm around her belly and sliding the other all the way up her body to take hold of her cappuccino hair "I'm gonna love every illustrious inch of you"
I pin her against the van again, forcing her to take my love at my slow pace but it's like she can't help but push back.
Cassandra quivers with pleasure when I rub her neck. Her eyes widen with worry yet her toes curl so hard they crack when I give her neck a squeeze. "Why are you so goddamned amazing!?" she asks aloud between gasps of air and kisses.
That sends me over the top! "Fuck, ...fuck I'm coming!"
"Oh... see, it's good you have more condoms."
Still thrusting out of a burning
desire to not let this moment end "Here, I'm gonna untie you before I put another one on."
"Already?"
"Yeah, I don't want you to lose circulation"
"No, that's fine, I mean you're already putting another condom on?"
"No way am I done after just 1... did you even come yet?"
"No but I'm pretty close"
"Ok then, get in and lay down" I gesture to the middle seats of the van.
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aliciameade · 5 years ago
Text
Desperate Measures
Title: Desperate Measures Author: aliciameade Rating: M for MMMMutual Release Pairing: Beca/Chloe Summary: Mid-PP3. They are quarantined. Chloe and Beca have everything they need to weather the mandated period of social distancing and staying home: food, water, shelter, games, entertainment, and each other's company.
The one thing they don't have?
Much-needed privacy.
Also on AO3
~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~
Chloe figures there are worse people she could be forced into isolation with than Beca Mitchell.
Like, of roughly 8 billion people on the planet, she has the best one to be quarantined with.
It helps that Amy was already shacking up with someone before the Mayor sent down his shelter in place orders. They have the apartment to themselves for the foreseeable future.
At this news, Beca had announced she would be taking over Amy’s bed for a week, and then it would be Chloe’s turn, so she and Chloe wouldn’t have to continue sharing the small, mostly uncomfortable pull-out sofa they’ve been living on for the past year. 
However, when it came time to go to bed, Chloe bit her tongue as Beca rolled her eyes and climbed into the shared bed, same as always.
“Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
Chloe watches her in her peripheral vision while they unwind from a day of doing nothing. Beca’s on her phone with only one of her AirPods in, the one on her right side, opposite Chloe. She can hear the tinny, empty sound of the music she’s listening to escaping that one earbud and it’s an odd comfort. Some version of normalcy in the world that’s been turned upside-down recently.
She reads until her eyelids grow too heavy. When she sets aside her book, Beca puts her phone away and they turn in for the night, together, like always.
~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~
They’re on Day 13 when Chloe’s getting antsy. Not antsy from being home, though; they get outside often enough for fresh air. It’s quickly become her favorite thing to grab Beca’s hand and pull her out the door to go for a walk on the least populated streets they can find. Social distancing has only given Chloe more excuses to be closer to Beca than usual by using basic excuses such as, “I’m starved for physical interaction, Bec!”
But all the daily walks can’t quell a different kind of starvation.
Beca not going to work and Chloe never having privacy has resulted in little to no opportunities for Chloe to tend to her personal sexual needs.
And it’s not that she’s insatiable. She considers herself to have a normal, healthy libido and an active sex life. But her hormonal cycle is starting to kick into overdrive and it’s becoming difficult to ignore. She also has precious little to distract herself with, forcing her to fixate on her unexpected and involuntary celibacy.
She does sneak one quick personal session in while Beca showers a few feet away behind nothing but a patterned curtain. The riskiness amps up the hotness of it, as does the fact that she can so easily picture Beca nude and showering, but it’s quick and does little to satisfy her. In fact, it only makes it worse, to the point that she’s beginning to feel drunk with horniness.
It’s a shitty state to be in when you live with your best friend in an apartment with zero privacy.
Which is why she’s not surprised when the question falls from her foggy brain to her lips when they’re in bed doing their nightly domestic routine of reading together quietly after she’s stared at the same page of her book for 15 minutes.
“What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?”
She sees Beca’s face turn toward her. “Dude, what?”
“Like, in bed,” she says with a casual shrug. She keeps her eyes on her book as one does with any casual conversation. “You know, sex.”
“Yeah, I know, what kinky means,” Beca says with a hint of amusement in her voice. “You’re asking me this why?”
She turns the page in her book. She has no idea what it says. “Why not?”
“Because that’s pretty personal?”
She shrugs again and tries to quell her thoughts but fails. She’s horny and in bed with the one person she’s been genuinely attracted to for as long as she can remember. She’s also had a lot of time to think about how she and Beca could be passing their down-time. For example, taking turns going down on each other. Or simultaneously.
“I let someone handcuff me once,” Beca says after a few beats of silence. She mutters it under her breath but it reaches Chloe’s ears loud and clear.
She aims to keep her voice conversational. “Did you like it?”
Beca clears her throat. “Yeah. It was...good, I guess. What about you?”
Chloe doesn’t expect Beca to volley it back to her but is pleasantly surprised. “Ooh, yeah. I like being tied up.” She closes her book to glance at Beca who is staring intently at the screen of her phone, though her thumb isn’t scrolling through anything. “But I like to be the one doing the tying.”
Beca’s swallow is audible. “Cool.”
It makes Chloe chuckle. “Yeah. Cool.” She glances again and she can tell Beca’s blushing, the tiniest hint of pink coloring her cheeks and tips of her ears. “You know what I’ve always wanted to try?”
“No, but I bet you’re going to tell me.”
“Spanking.”
“Oh, my God,” Beca says, sounding thoroughly mortified. Not that that fazes Chloe at all.
“I mean, I’ve done it, but not like, really, done it, you know? Not like bent over a knee, counting them off kind of spanking.”
Beca seems to shrink in on herself. “Wow, yeah. I got it.”
“Oh, come on,” she says, amused by Beca’s bashfulness. She knows it’s mostly false; she’s seen Beca when she gets out of her head. Hell, she’s seen Beca have sex with a woman in a bar (not that Beca knows that; they were clearly trying to be discreet but they weren’t even in a booth; it was literally on a barstool with Beca’s hand under the woman’s skirt. Chloe remembers it clearly and thinks about it often.). She moves her foot over to kick at Beca’s. “I’m bored. Tell me something you want to try. Have you been spanked?”
Beca laughs and whips her head around to look at Chloe again. She’s smiling, but it’s one of her bright, biting, sarcastic smiles. “I am not drunk enough for this. Or, like, at all.”
“Just tell me,” she whines, putting on her famed puppy-dog eyes that she knows Beca can never say ‘no’ to. “Or maybe you’re the one who did the spanking,” she adds thoughtfully and watches as Beca drops her phone and covers her face with both hands with a groan. “No, you totally are the one who’d get spanked.”
“Fine,” Beca grits out and Chloe almost hops out of bed in excitement. “Just...turn off the fucking lights I am not sitting here talking about this like we’re meal planning for the week.”
“Done,” Chloe says, twisting around to turn off her bedside lamp while Beca does the same. She knew she’d be able to crack Beca; it never takes much.
“I’m going on record that I’m only having this conversation out of sheer boredom.”
“Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law,” Chloe says in her best Law & Order voice as she flips onto her side to face Beca.
“No, none of that,” Beca says swirling her finger at Chloe. “Eyes on the ceiling.”
“Fine,” Chloe sighs and rolls to her back to get comfortable and feels Beca doing the same. “Well?” she prompts after a few seconds of stillness and silence.
“Well, what?”
“Don’t act like you forgot. Answer the question.”
“Oh, my God.” Beca sounds exasperated. “Yes, okay?”
Chloe hadn’t expected that or the welcomed visions that accompany it. “Did you like it?”
There’s a beat of silence. Then, “Yeah.” Chloe can tell she’s rolling her eyes with the answer.
“Blindfolds?”
“They’re fine.”
The hesitancy is shorter that time, which surprises Chloe. She wonders if it’s because it was a vanilla question or if Beca’s accepting the line of questioning and resigning herself to it. Or if Beca just didn’t have to think about it. “Role-play?”
“...What kind of role-play?”
The tone of Beca’s voice holds curiosity, and that curiosity makes Chloe’s heart skip a beat. “You tell me.”
Extended silence follows and she hears Beca sniff, a nervous tick Chloe knows well, before she answers. “I don’t know, like...student/teacher.”
Her heart thumps again. “Who did you role-play student/teacher with?”
Beca’s voice is direct. “We’re talking about what we’ve done, not who we did it with.”
“Okay, okay. Were you the student or the teacher?” She smiles, letting the images of Beca in a Catholic school girl uniform fill her brain. “You were totally the student.”
“Shut up,” she mumbles, making Chloe laugh. “Why am I the one confessing everything?”
Chloe has already confessed a few things but she doesn’t argue. She’d rather keep talking about dirty things with Beca in the dark, in bed, right next to her. “I had a four-way once.”
She sees Beca’s head snap to the left to stare at her, breaking Beca’s own rule. “Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously,” she laughs.
She feels Beca’s eyes on her but doesn’t give in to the temptation to turn and look and Beca goes back to staring at the ceiling. “And it was all girls,” she decides to clarify. “I thought it would be complicated but we were just, like, in a circle head to toe. Well, more like mouth to—”
Beca interrupts her. “I get it.” 
She decides to embellish. “It was really hot. Like, one girl moaning? Hot. But three? At the same time? I came so—”
“Holy shit, I said I got it,” Beca interrupts again, sounding a bit winded. 
Chloe laughs and tries not to think about the fact that she knows her panties are growing wetter the longer this conversation goes on. “Okay, okay. Your turn.”
“Just give me a minute,” Beca grumbles.
Chloe keeps her thoughts to herself to let Beca think. Thoughts of what Beca might sound like when she moans. Of how hard she could make Beca come. Of what she tastes— 
“I had sex on the desk once.”
Chloe gasps; it’s her turn to snap her head to the right to stare at Beca’s profile in the darkness. “The no-sex-on-the-desk desk?!”
“Yeah,” Beca laughs. “It was bad, too. I just wanted to do it because I wasn’t supposed to.”
“Always the little rebel,” Chloe teases and she watches Beca roll her eyes and smile. “My turn to confess something.”
“Oh God, I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“I saw you fingering that blonde girl at the bar a few weeks ago.” She hadn’t meant to confess that, but there it was.
Beca turns to meet her eyes. “You did not!”
“I totally did,” Chloe laughs. “She was pretty. And came, like, super-fast. I’m impressed.”
“Wait, that she was pretty or that she came fast?”
“No, no,” she clarifies. “Of course you can get the pretty girls. I wasn’t surprised by that.”
“Just that I’m good at fucking them?”
Chloe wonders what her face looks like right now; probably all kinds of entertained and shocked. “No, I was impressed that you did it right there where everybody could see you.”
“Well, I mean, it wasn’t that obvious.”
“It was totes obvious,” she whispers. “But it was really hot.” She hadn’t meant to confess that either, but…
She sees the corner of Beca’s mouth twitch like she’s trying not to react. “Yeah?”
“Mhm,” she replies as she decides it’s finally safe to turn onto her side rather than crane her neck to see Beca while they talk. “I could tell you really wanted her to feel good.”
“I mean, yeah,” Beca says, starting to smile like she’s proud until her mind catches up with the conversation. “Oh, my God you saw me having sex. We are not talking about that anymore.” She turns to stare at the ceiling once more. “I’ve never seen you have sex.”
It’s hard to separate what is amusement and what is arousal now, but there are ample amounts of both flowing through Chloe’s system. “That could be arranged.”
Beca’s eyes close and Chloe can tell she’s clenching her jaw even in the darkness. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know,” Chloe says thoughtfully. “But I did. I like being watched.”
She watches Beca swallow; it feels abnormally slow. “Voyeurism, huh?” 
“Mhm.” Something feels different suddenly, like when the air grows still and humid before a thunderstorm.
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Beca adds. She sounds kind of breathless and Chloe can’t help but wonder if this conversation is turning Beca on the say way it’s turning her on. “You like to...perform.”
“Yes, I do.” She watches Beca for a few seconds; she seems fidgety. “What’s your favorite position?”
“I am not answering that,” Beca says, her most Beca-like laugh of awkwardness leaping out with the words.
“Oh, please. Who cares. I’ll tell you mine.” The level of need Chloe has to know the answer is not one she should have for her friend. But she can’t unpack that right now.
“You first.”
Chloe pushes back. “No, you first. It was my question.” 
She watches Beca pull a hand out from under their shared blankets to squeeze the bridge of her nose between her fingers. She says something but it’s unclear.
“What?”
Beca repeats herself but Chloe can only make out that it ends with the letter ‘d.’
“I’m sorry, but I really can’t hear—”
“From behind! I like it from behind, okay?” Beca literally shouts it before covering her face with both hands again. “Oh, my God, I want to die.”
The confession absolutely floors Chloe and she doesn’t stop herself from reaching over to pull one of Beca’s hands away from her face. “That’s really hot,” she says, words measured to not make Beca think she’s mocking her. It’s difficult, though; she’s so physically affected by Beca’s blurted answer that she feels lightheaded. Images swirl through her mind again like butterflies of Beca on her hands and knees looking over her shoulder as Chloe— 
“You said you’d answer it, too,” Beca says, voice tight with embarrassment and anxiety. “Hurry up and put me out of my misery.”
“Oh, right,” she says once she remembers to breathe. She’s sure her palm is sweating where it’s still resting against Beca’s arm. “I really like it when the girl is on my lap riding me. Fingers, strap, whatever.”
“That’s nice,” Beca says, voice breaking into some kind of a stressed squeak, her one free hand turning to cover both her eyes.
“And I like my hair being pulled.”
“I didn’t ask about that.”
Chloe shrugs but she doubts Beca can see it, still hiding her eyes the way she is. “You know, both of us being home every day, I haven’t been able to touch myself in a long time.” She’s starting to operate on adrenaline and arousal which is often a dangerous combination.
Beca mutters, “Oh, my God,” for the dozenth time of this conversation. “Do you need me to go stand in the hall? I can give you privacy.”
“Remember how I said I like being watched?” She bites her lip and watches Beca’s reaction.
It’s a full-body one. She squirms until she’s pulled her captive arm away from Chloe so she can drag the covers up and over her head. “Why are you like this?”
“Where are you going?” Chloe laughs as she tugs on the blanket. “You want a front-row seat?”
Beca whips the blanket off her face, wispy hairs floating for a few seconds from static electricity to stare at her. “Dude.”
“Dude,” Chloe parrots, grinning at her. “It’s just me. When is the last time you did it?”
“I cannot believe we’re having this conversation,” Beca says to herself. “I don’t know. Like, the other day, I guess.”
Chloe’s tickled by her honesty. “And where was I?”
“You went to get the mail,” Beca groans, though she doesn’t try to hide her face again. She just avoids eye contact instead.
“It takes, like, two minutes to run downstairs and back.” She just smiles wider. “So quick.”
“Dude, shut up!” Beca says with exasperation. “You literally just said we’re both always here it’s not like I get to do it as often as I’d like.”
Chloe hears her teeth click when she slams her jaw closed for once again revealing more than she had intended, though it’s exactly the kind of revelation Chloe was hoping for. “You know…” she starts.
“What is that tone? What is your voice doing?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Chloe says as she turns to her back to once again lay side by side with Beca. “But if we’re both wound up because we’re never alone to...relieve ourselves—”
“‘Relieve ourselves’ sounds like you mean peeing.”
“Wait, Beca, are you into golden showers?” she teases, just to watch Beca hit the roof again.
Instead, she’s met with nothing but a long, irritated exhale. “You were saying?” Beca surprisingly asks.
“Oh, right. We’re really good friends, right? And we have to share this place for however long. And we have needs. Well, I know I have needs—”
“I have needs,” Beca interjects. It makes Chloe’s eyebrows lift with much interest.
“We have needs. I know talking about all this stuff tonight got me all riled up—”
“It did?”
Chloe chances a glance at Beca, but her eyes are tightly closed. “Yeah,” she answers. “What about you?”
There’s a long pause, and then, “Yeah, I guess.”
It makes Chloe’s heart want to hammer right out of her chest. Beca’s admitting she’s turned on. Right now. In bed. With Chloe. “Then if you’re okay with it, maybe we just agree to…” She has to stop and wet her lips; she’s irritatingly nervous and she only gets nervous like this before a performance. (Well…) “Do you want to touch yourself?”
The painfully extended silence is very telling.
“Because I really want to touch myself right now,” she continues when Beca doesn’t answer. “Would that be okay?” 
Beca finally speaks. “How is that not weird?”
“Who says it’s weird?”
“I don’t know. People.”
“We’re the only people who will know. I don’t think it’s weird. I think it’s kind of sexy.” She leaves it at that. She can’t push it further; she’s on thin ice as it is. All she can do is wait and try to ignore the ache between her legs.
“Just...don’t look at me,” Beca huffs and Chloe sees her pointedly turn her face toward the wall.
“Deal,” Chloe says, basically squealing as she does as requested and turns away while she closes her eyes.
Her heart is beating so hard she barely hears Beca’s voice over it. “So, are we just, like, doing this? Or…?”
“Do you need me to say 3-2-1-go?”
Beca just sighs and Chloe giggles, but chooses to let her giggle turn into a sigh of her own as she slips her hand down the front of her pajama shorts.
How wet she is comes as no surprise to her, but her sensitivity is unexpected and a whimper she didn’t quite mean to release escapes.
“Oh, my God you’re really doing it,” Beca says next to her and Chloe feels her shifting around but keeps her eyes closed.
She can’t get a read on Beca’s tone; it sounds more surprised than anything, but it’s laced with something else. She strains her hearing to listen to Beca, to listen for any movement or a change in her breathing or any sign whatsoever that Chloe is not doing this alone.
She’d be okay if she was, though. It is extraordinarily hot that Beca agreed to it at all, that she decided to be okay to be present and inches away while Chloe touches herself and the wetness beneath her fingers is confirmation of that.
It’s easy to begin to lose herself in it, though Beca’s proximity remains at the forefront of her mind. She’s touch-starved and needy and it feels so good to finally be able to let her hands wander, to let her fingers stroke over and around her clit while her other hand pushes under her pajama top to tease a stiff nipple. To let herself moan and not worry about getting caught.
Every nerve in her body comes alive when she hears Beca’s breath hitch just the tiniest bit. 
She’s filled with a new kind of ache: to make Beca talk about what she might be doing on her side of the bed. It’s too soon for Beca, though. Chloe knows her well enough that everything Beca does has to be worked through in stages until she finds her comfort with it or abandons it altogether.
Instead, Chloe tries to offer encouragement through an embellished moan, but she doesn’t have to fake the pleasure. The very possibility that Beca is touching herself next to her is almost enough to bring on her climax and she has to grit her teeth for a moment or two and still her fingers to let the sudden rush of arousal subside. While she waits, she holds her breath and listens for Beca, for any confirmation that she really is touching herself. She can hear her breathing and it’s almost too even and slow, a little too nasal for it to be natural.
“You don’t have to be quiet,” she chances to say. 
“It’s not like you’re being loud.”
Chloe smiles to herself. “Is that a challenge?”
“No.”
“But does that mean you’re doing it?”
There’s another pause, and then, “Maybe.”
She can’t help the groan that comes with Beca’s admission. 
“You don’t have to sound like porn,” Beca says, actual amusement in her tone.
“Can’t help it,” Chloe says with a smile in her voice, too, as her head tips back and her fingers slip lower to tease her entrance. “This is super hot.”
She hears Beca kind of hum and Chloe thinks she’s doing it to agree or disagree but the hum breaks into a stilted, very brief moan.
“Oh, yeah, you’re doing it,” Chloe breathes, starting to throw what little caution she still has to the wind.
Beca’s only response is a stubborn kind of grunt that tells Chloe she should probably stop commenting on Beca’s actions. So she does and instead lets Beca know what she’s feeling, sighing and whimpering when she tugs on her own nipple, whining when she teases herself by not slipping inside yet.
Beca was right, earlier. Chloe does like performing, especially for Beca. Especially with her voice, but her body is an instrument in this as well, and she lets her hips start rocking up into her hand. She knows Beca will be able to feel it; they can’t so much as blink without it being felt by the other in their rickety bed.
She doesn’t expect Beca’s reaction to be so immediate, or so vocal, but it’s there: a light, airy, unrestrained moan.
She wonders what Beca’s doing. If her fingers are between her legs, inside or outside her pajama pants, if her hands are on her breasts or stomach or thighs. She wonders what Beca likes, how Beca likes to be worked up, to be touched, how she likes to touch herself. If it’s hard and fast or soft and slow. She knows Beca has a vibrator; Chloe found it once by accident when she was looking for a spare cord to charge her phone after forgetting hers at the office. She wants to know how she uses it.
She wants to know what Beca sounds like when she’s being taken from behind, how her back would be sweating when Chloe would drag her nails down it as she— 
A whispered curse slices through her thoughts and on instinct she turns her head to look.
She wishes she hadn’t; she wishes she’d prepared herself for what Beca would look like, eyes closed and lips parted as her head tips back further into her pillow. As her chest rises and falls with her quickened breathing. As the covers over her midsection move with subtle but distinct rhythm. She wasn’t supposed to look. She promised Beca she wouldn’t. But she did and she can’t help the moan that escapes at the sight.
She doesn’t expect Beca to do what she just did until they’re suddenly looking at each other. She readies herself for the moment to fall apart.
“You weren’t supposed to look at me,” Beca says instead, and, breathtakingly, it is clear she hasn’t stopped what she was doing.
“Oops,” Chloe breathes, stilling her fingers and hips for a moment to step her orgasm back again.
“This is hot.”
Chloe almost moans again. “So hot.”
“No, I mean…” Beca uses her free hand, the one not apparently between her legs, to push at the quilt that’s covering them both. “This is hot. Can it go away?”
Chloe has to close her eyes for a second before she nods. At least she has a warning this time, to be able to mentally prepare herself for what she’ll see when they both work together to push down and kick away the blanket until it’s in a crumpled heap at their feet. She whimpers when her eyes reopen because Beca’s right hand is down the front of her pants. Her shirt has ridden up—or was pushed up—past her navel and Chloe’s filled with the desire to kiss the soft skin there. She knows her own is displaced as well and doesn’t bother to fix it.
“Yeah, this is hot, too,” Beca says with a laugh that shouldn’t be as sexy as it is when it sounds so shy. Her eyes are closed again but they reopen after a few seconds, and she’s still facing Chloe.
Chloe can’t help but smile. “So hot,” she repeats.
Beca’s eyelashes flutter a few times before they close again. “This is…”
“Hot?” Chloe finishes.
She watches Beca’s lips tug into a small smile. “I’m not...I can’t…” She huffs instead of finishing her thought and Chloe connects the dots.
“Oh. Oh. Do you want me to put headphones on or something? Or I can move to the floor—”
A hand landing on her forearm, the one that is connected to the hand down her shorts, stops her. “No. Just...”
Chloe’s heart feels like it’s in her stomach. Physical contact wasn’t part of the deal and Beca just initiated it. “Just?” she says, hearing how tight her voice sounds. Her wrist also flexes as her hips tilt, need starting to overtake her again.
She watches Beca’s hips roll, too, as a moan escapes her. “Do that again.”
Beca wants to feel her moving.
“Like this?” she asks as she resumes her pace, her fingers sliding up and down as her hips lift and fall.
Beca licks her lips and nods. 
“God,” Chloe breathes as she watches Beca match her pace until they’re moving in sync. She wants to reach over and touch Beca. She wants Beca’s hand to follow her arm down until it’s her fingers playing with Chloe’s clit. She wants to watch as Beca starts to relax, the tension in her shoulders lessening even as her hand tightens around Chloe’s arm. 
Another quiet moan escapes Beca and Chloe echoes it. She allows her hips to speed up as she pushes her hand further down, down until she’s slipping a finger inside herself. It drags Beca’s hand down, too, and Chloe’s breath catches when she sees that Beca’s fingertips are actually beneath the elastic of Chloe’s shorts where she’s holding on to her arm.
Beca’s eyebrows knit like she’s thinking and a sudden, loud moan almost startles Chloe. She’s maybe realized what Chloe is doing and Chloe is more than okay with that. She moves in and out of herself slowly, exaggerating it for Beca’s benefit though the way it feels needs no theatrics. She’s letting every moan and whimper spill out that needs to because with each one she sees Beca’s hips cant upward sharply.
She wants Beca to look at her, to see what she’s doing to Chloe in the way Chloe can see what she’s doing to Beca, even in the darkness. How her cheeks are flushed and how her tongue flits over her lips and how...God, and how her nipples are so visibly hard beneath the thin material of her T-shirt.
Chloe wants to come. She wants to come so badly it hurts. For all her bravado in proposing this, she doesn’t know how that should play out. If she should bite her tongue and come quietly and modestly. If she should let her hips buck and her voice do what it wants.
She doesn’t get a choice in the matter as Beca’s eyes open and meet hers.
It sets Chloe off like lightning striking.
She comes before she finishes figuring out how to handle it so her climax is uncensored and full-volume. Unbridled and wild as her hips buck and Beca’s blunt fingernails dig into the soft underside of her arm. Her body throbs and she manages to open her eyes, just for a moment, and finds Beca watching her and wearing a look of absolute desperation.
Beca’s release seems to hit her as unexpectedly as Chloe’s and she watches in awe as Beca comes, eyes slamming closed as her body tenses. Her moans are muffled by the way she’s clenching her jaw, like she’s trying to be quiet. Then her body’s curling in on itself, knees drawing toward her chest as she breathes hard until it passes and her legs fall back to the bed.
The whole event nearly makes Chloe again but she’s too caught up in watching it to think to twitch her fingers. Instead, she watches Beca try to catch her breath. Her hand is still wrapped around Chloe’s forearm but it’s no longer clutching it. Beca seems to remember it’s there and loosens her grip as though to pull away but she just ends up dragging it higher a few inches before stopping again.
She watches the muscle in Beca’s jaw twitch a few times before she’s wetting her lips and swallowing. “Um…”
“Wow, Beca,” Chloe says as soon as Beca’s broken the moment.
“Just…” Beca finally, sadly, removes her hand from Chloe’s arm and uses it to hold her finger in the air to ask for a moment. Chloe’s hyper-aware that her other hand is still in her pants, as is her own, and she struggles to keep from staring even though Beca’s eyes are closed. “Gimme a minute.”
Chloe bites her lip and smiles, content to watch Beca return to herself. Chloe does slip her hand out of her shorts to rest wet fingers against her bare stomach
Finally, Beca opens her eyes and keeps them fixed firmly on the ceiling. “What did you mean by ‘wow’?” she asks.
Chloe smiles so big she knows Beca can see it out the corner of her eye. “You are so freaking hot,” she says with earnest.
“Oh, my God, I am not,” Beca huffs and Chloe watches her try to bring her hands to cover her face, including the one she’s just dragged out of her pants, only to stop short.
Chloe tries not to notice that she can see them glistening in the faint ambient light and instead giggles as she twists to grab a tissue from the box next to the bed to pass to her.
She just huffs again and though it’s too dark to measure levels of blushing, Chloe’s sure whatever flush she’s wearing just deepened as she snaps it out of Chloe’s hand to wipe at her hand until she’s crumpling it and tossing it to the floor.
“So totally hot,” Chloe edges once Beca doesn’t seem ready to blow her top with embarrassment.
“Chloe,” she groans with a roll of her eyes that finally lands them back on Chloe for the first time since her climax. “Don’t make this weird.”
“I’m not!” she laughs. “I came so hard watching you.”
“You weren’t supposed to look at me!” Beca screeches as she half-sits up until she’s turning onto her side and laying back down. Facing Chloe.
“Yeah, well, you were looking at me,” Chloe shrugs as she wiggles onto her side, too. “You totally got off on me watching you.”
Beca’s eyes go wide and she puffs her cheeks out in exasperation.
“And I thought I was the one into voyeurism,” she continues teasing. “Learn something new about yourself?”
Beca’s exhale is loud but brief. “Whatever.” She points at Chloe, narrowing her eyes. “We don’t talk about this.”
Chloe’s heart sinks, just a little. It had been fun to live in her fantasy if only for a few minutes. “Ever?” She knows she sounds sad and she’s not trying to manipulate Beca. “I mean, this thing is going to last another month at least,” she amends. “You aren’t going to want to do it again?”
“Right now?” Beca blurts.
“I didn’t mean right now,” Chloe smiles, though suddenly her body warms.
“Oh.”
“Unless you want to?”
“Well...a month is a long time,” Beca finally answers, a bit begrudgingly. “I’m good for now, though.”
Chloe feels her heart soar and has to stop herself from moving to tackle Beca. Any other night and she would do it without thinking. Tonight, though, it’s different. “So you admit it was hot,” she says, grinning.
Beca presses her lips together for a few seconds until she rolls her eyes again. “Fine, it was hot.”
“Told you,” Chloe smiles and she watches Beca start to smile, too, before it fades to something else. Something Chloe can’t label, but it’s there as Beca quietly looks at her. Something about it makes her heart start to race.
It feels a lot like Beca might be thinking about kissing her.
Chloe wets her lips automatically, the possibility already making her breath speed up, until Beca breaks eye contact and starts to move until she’s turned onto her right side, back to Chloe, the way she always sleeps.
Chloe uses it as an invitation to move in behind her, like always, to fit herself along Beca’s back and slip an arm around her waist. Beca’s body is warmer than usual and Chloe can’t help but tip her face closer to breathe her in and find comfort in the familiarity. She lets her closeness bring her lips to the shell of Beca’s ear, which she kisses lightly.
“Sleep well,” she says as she rests her head on the pillow they’re sharing.
“Pretty sure I will now,” Beca replies, her tone playfully wry.
It makes Chloe squeeze her around her middle and give her a jostle. “You’re welcome,” she teases.
Beca hums and pokes her butt backward to bump into Chloe. “You, too. G’night.”
Chloe knows she shouldn’t, but she can’t help herself. It’s too perfect. She pops her hips forward right into her ass. “So you like it from behind, huh?”
The only thing that keeps Beca from running out the door is Chloe’s hold on her waist as Chloe laughs until tears prick her eyes as Beca cusses her out with the most colorful language she knows until she finally gives up and goes limp.
“I hate you,” Beca says after a few seconds of breathing hard from trying to escape.
“Love you, too,” Chloe sing-songs as she presses a kiss to Beca’s shoulder. “Go to sleep.”
She hears Beca muttering something under her breath that sounds a lot like, “Whatever,” and she can’t help but smile as she closes her eyes, Beca in her arms.
The End (maybe...?) (it’s not)
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stylesvolume94 · 4 years ago
Text
She’s Moved On
July 21, 2020 // 11:03 pm 
“Ah, c’mon H, I’m sorry!” Benny was trailing behind a stomping Harry attempting to get him to understand his remorse. “Listen, I didn’t plan for tonight to go down the way it did...you know that if I had any idea she was going to show up I wouldn’t have asked you to come with!”
Harry suddenly spun around just as they had stepped up to his apartment door. Face red with anger and fists clenching at the hoodie in his hands as a reminder to not hit anything, Harry got up in Benny’s face not bothering to keep his voice down. 
“That’s just it, Benny! Never wanted to go in the first place, but you always have to push and push!” Benny cast his head down slightly, furrowing his brows and clenching his jaw in frustration. He had only wanted to get his friend out of hiding and around good company, but he never expected her to be there. Then again, it was a very popular fair and the whole group knew that Brayley still lived in the area. 
After several minutes of heavy breathing and counting back from one hundred, Harry closed his eyes and brought his hands to his face, hiding his shame in the soft black hoodie. He shook his head trying to rid his anger away the best he could. He knew it wasn’t Benny’s fault that she showed up, anyone could’ve shown and if anything, it was Harry’s fault. He was the one that dated her, not Benny or any of his other friends. Being the first time in years he had seen her, he was more than taken aback. 
With a final shake of his head, he ran his hands down his face. “Just please leave. Wanna be alone for the rest of the night.” Harry turned to put the key in the lock, having a bit of trouble from his trembling hands. 
“M’sorry, Harry. Really, I am.” Benny’s voice came out as a whisper and Harry knew he really meant what he said. Out of their small group of friends, Benny and Harry were the closest. He had been there on Christmas day when Harry was alone and in a fit of rage from his breakup. Had been there when Harry broke down in the worst amount of guilt and shame he had ever felt. He was the one who drove Harry to his first therapy appointment and rehab group and has never once made Harry feel badly for his past mistakes.   
With these reminders, Harry turned back to his best mate, glancing up at him and offering the smallest tinge of a smile. “Yeah, I know.” He whispered. “S’ok. Just tired now. I’ll call you tomorrow, yeah?”
“Yeah, a’right. Goodnight, H.” Benny retreated towards the elevator just down the hall as Harry entered his apartment. He went straight to the kitchen and opened up the cabinet closest to the fridge as if on instinct. He furrowed his brow when he was met with a few glass dishes and then dropped his head in humiliation. He’s been sober for years and here he was looking for a drink. He felt sick. 
Opting on a glass of apple juice, Harry sat at his dining table, staring at nothing in particular as the darkness surrounded him. The only light coming through was from the moon and Harry wondered if Brayley was laying on the beach with her new boyfriend, talking about nothing as her face split into a shit eating grin and her hands gestured wildly in the summer breeze. Tears sprung to Harry’s eyes at the image. 
With a defeated sigh, Harry carefully placed his head in his palms and rubbed at his temples. The events of hours ago replayed in his head as he remembered seeing his ex-girlfriend for the first time in several years; a real wakeup call and kick in the ass if anyone were to ask how he felt the moment his eyes landed on her beautiful figure. 
---------
7:18 pm
“C’mon man, it’ll be fun as shit. You know Dax will be there and he’s bringing his bag, so don’t pussy out now. Come get high with us, eat some shit food, and go on a few rides. You can’t mope around forever.” 
“Y’know I don’t do that shit anymore, Benny. Stop being a dick.” 
“The only one being a dick here is you, H. Just say yes, and I’ll stop askin.”
With a roll of the eyes, Harry rose from his spot on the worn leather couch to gather his keys and wallet before heading to put on some shoes. Less than pleased, he followed Benny out the door for their twenty-minute drive. Bennet had been trying to convince Harry to join him and their group out to the local fun fair, but Harry was stubborn. He didn’t want to go, didn’t want to be around other people and definitely not at a place that reminded him of his past mistakes. He eventually gave in, only wanting his friend to shut up and the night to be over. And maybe he wouldn’t mind a churro and slurpee. 
7:47 pm
“All right, what’s our game plan?” Benny clapped his hands. Rubbing them together, he was way more excited than Harry thought he should’ve been upon arriving to the fair and meeting the others. It was quite a beautiful evening; seventy-some degrees with a breeze coming in from the lake. The sun was still high but would go down in the next hour or so. Laughter, music, and the squeak of rides filled Harry’s headspace and he wondered if he might actually be able to enjoy himself or at least use the pleasurable environment to lift his mood. 
As promised, Dax brought his drawstring with small baggies that Harry had no interest in accepting. Jace and Brit showed up hand-in-hand, Tyson trailing behind already a bit red-eyed and too smiley. Harry loved his friends, adored them really even if they were all slight druggies who partied too much. They were good company and were the only ones who stayed after Harry’s bad breakup. His ex didn’t take a liking to them, she had thought they were bad influences that were going to take his mind off his music and ambitions. Harry hadn’t thought so and this led to more fights than he could count. Memories of past fights were interrupted by a happy Tyson.
“Hazzy bear! What is up, my guy?” Ty walked up to Harry with his arms outstretched and a goofy grin plastered on his face. He was laughing at nothing and upon pulling him into a tight hug, Harry scrunched his nose at the smell of whiskey encasing the slightly shorter man. 
Harry spoke with a mixture of disgust and understanding, browns furrowed. “Tyson, you’re high as shit mate.”
“Hell yeah!” Ty bellowed out joyously, making Harry flinch and his nose turn up. He took a step back. “How much did you drink before coming here?”
“Oh c’mon, H! Don’t start with your newfound sobriety shit. I’m here for a good time, don’t ruin it!” Though his words came out seriously, Ty ended his scolding with a childish giggle. “How long you been sober for anyways, Haz?” Harry didn’t want to talk about this now. It seemed too heavy a conversation for a ‘fun’ night out. Then again, he didn’t want to draw attention to himself should Ty begin pressing for an answer. 
“Three years.” His face was firm, his voice even more so, indicating the end of the conversation. His friend didn’t catch on. 
“Ah, y’right, y’right. And what, no Brayley tonight?” As Tyson started to smirk, Harry grew tense and eyes widened at the sound of her name. ‘Why bring her up,’ Harry thought, ‘There’s no reason, no fucking reason.’ 
“What the fuck, Ty? Stop, you know that shit’s touchy.” Jace smacked Tyson on his right temple, as Benny scolded him. 
“Oh, fuck off, mate. I was just messin.” Harry shook his head, eyes downcast and chest tighter than a minute ago. Though the sun was shining and weather still nice, Harry felt his body turn cold with remorse and then flush not a minute later with embarrassment. 
He hated the reminder of her. Hated the constant nag of guilt that still hasn’t subsided, and as he was given a round of sympathetic glances, he felt he was going to be sick. ‘I don’t need sympathy. Don’t deserve it.’
Suddenly, there was an awkward tension amongst the small group. They all knew what happened between Harry and Brayley, how he treated her and how she left him. Harry was a wreck after but before his sadness was anger. He was pissed that she had left him, that she wasted two years of his life, and even more pissed at the idea that she had gotten with him for the money and fame. Of course, though, that wasn’t true. 
When his year of anger vanished, he was hit with regret and guilt. That’s when he started his therapy for anger and rehab for alcohol. The years seem to drag day by day, yet they’ve passed so quickly. Dr. Tallon said Harry’s been getting better, giving him weekly exercises and tasks to get him through any temper fits and a prescription for the anxiety and grief that is also improving. 
Harry liked Tallon, though often felt he was too therapeutic at times, way too sympathetic and kind. Harry didn’t need sympathy. He needed answers to why he did what he did, for someone to explain to him why he felt so fucked-up and broken when years ago he felt lively and powerful. Maybe soon he’ll figure it all out. 
Harry was brought out of his thoughts once more as he heard Tyson slightly slur Brayley’s name again. As he spoke, Harry stalked toward Ty with a scowl on his face and fists balled at his sides. “Fuck, Tyson! Would you shut the hell up about her, already? I don’t want to hear her name come out of your mouth again or I swear-” 
“Shut the fuck up, Harry.” Ty interrupted with a less than amused tone. “I only said her name because she’s here.” 
Harry felt his chest cave in and for a second he couldn’t breathe. ‘Here? Right now?’
“What?” He meant for his question to come out more authoritative, but it ended up sounding quite pathetic when his voice cracked. Tyson didn’t answer. Instead, Harry felt a hand on his shoulder to turn him slightly right. 
His face softened and hands carefully reopened. If anyone were to see him now, they would think he had just witnessed something magical. Maybe a love-at first sight situation or the setting of the sun on a beach with waves lightly crashing and weather just absolutely perfect. But the truth could be seen in his eyes; they were pained, so sad and shocked and confused but also happy in a way that he got to witness her beauty once more. 
And there she was, wearing small jean shorts and a bleach-spotted black t-shirt that seemed to be torn from the bottom to make a crop-top depicting some sort of band that was too hard to make out from the distance. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he saw her wearing such revealing clothing. The problem with this thought was the outfit wasn’t that much revealing at all but being with Harry meant wearing clothes he deemed appropriate. The old Harry, of course, for now he understands how controlling a nature he had with Bray. 
She looked amazing. She was a bit tanner than he remembered and her hair a longer length but still a wavy brown that made her look incredible. Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from her small frame. Seeing her for the first time in so many years seemed almost mocking, as if the universe wanted to toy with him, punish him. Brayley was laughing, smiling up at this man next to her who wore a smile just as big. 
-----------
11:21 pm
Harry was brought out his head when his phone buzzed from inside his jean pocket. Pulling it out, he saw a text from Tyson. ‘I’m sorry Haz. Didn’t mean to ruin our time or make you uncomfortable. Call me tomorrow? Maybe we can go to lunch when I’m not high as fuck. Love you H.’
Feeling as though he’s sighed a thousand times since he left for the fair, Harry let one escape his lips before he downed the rest of the juice in the glass. He stood to place the cup in the sink then headed for his bedroom. Harry didn’t bother taking off his clothes nor do his usual routine, he was too tired, felt his heart was still too heavy in his chest.  
Harry closed his eyes and tried to allow his brain to shut down. He wanted sleep, prayed for it and for the day to be forgotten so he could move on. But as the minutes dragged into hours, Harry huffed and turned to face the ceiling. Memories of his ex at the fair began playing through his mudded mind once again, but this time, with every glimpse of her and that man she was oh so happy with that evening, came a flashback to when Harry called Brayley his. 
------
8 pm
The two were in line at a cotton candy stand. Harry watched as the tall, also tanned man handed over a few bills to pay for the purple and blue swirled candy floss. He saw Brayley snap her head to the man’s face and he realized she too had her hand up with some cash, ready to pay. Harry felt his heart squeeze painfully at the sight; she was surprised at this man’s kind gesture.
November 15, 2016
Throughout their relationship, Harry had asked Brayley to pay for their meals only a few times. Brayley didn’t mind and often found herself asking to pay because she felt so lucky to have Harry in her life. She wanted to treat Harry to nice meals and hoped that those small gestures reminded him of her love. 
The last time he made her pay came about unexpectedly, though, and further into their dating. Brayley thought they were having a really nice night out. Harry had finished writing for the album, had finished recording and his record was in the mastering process. Harry wanted to celebrate and Brayley hadn’t seen him so happy to go out for dinner since their very first date. When the bill came and Harry looked across the table to his girl with expecting eyes, Brayley knew the night was going to take a turn. 
“I pay more than half the rent. I pay for all your car problems. I paid for your books this semester too! And what, you can’t get this one fucking food bill?” After going back and forth for several minutes, Harry tried his best to keep his voice hushed. He spoke in the most threatening tone, face hard and hands beginning to ball under the table. Brayley was surprised at his sudden anger but not as much as she wished she should have been. She was too used to his foul mood that never went away; she just didn’t think he’d bring up his paying for her as a way to make her feel guilty. 
“I didn’t ask you to pay for my books.” Brayley felt defeated, utterly helpless and completely embarrassed in that moment. “You surprised me with it, and I never asked you to pay for my car maintenance either, you said you would so I could focus on my loans. And I pay you back for my share that I don’t pay outright for the apartment.” Tears started forming in the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over. “Please don’t make it sound like I’m using you for money or something because we both know that isn’t true.” Throughout her pleading, her voice was soft and never once raised. She always hated that about herself; how she was never able to fight back when Harry belittled her and made her feel weak.
“Well sorry I’m just trying to be a good boyfriend, hm? Maybe you should try being a decent girlfriend sometime.” So, Brayley paid for the meal, hesitantly of course. After paying off two thousand dollars’ worth of some student loans, she was unsure if she would be able to afford their expensive Italian meals. She’d quietly asked Harry once more when she saw their waiter approaching if he could just pay for this one night, but as the young man reached the table, Harry only stared at her. She knew she was going to hear it when they got home, knew she was in for a loud and lonely night, yet again. 
A few days after that date, Harry walked through the door with his hands full of Chinese take-out, ready to surprise his girl after a bit of guilt crept its way into his chest. Upon shutting the door and turning towards their bedroom, he heard Brayley crying in the hall bathroom. He pressed his ear to the door to better understand her through violent hiccups. She was confessing over the phone, to her mother he later found out, that she was late on a loan payment because she didn’t have the money right then and was now facing a hefty fee that she knew she couldn’t pay. She never brought that up to Harry and Harry never helped her out. 
---------
8:32 pm
Brayley and the mystery man had moved to stand in line for the ferris wheel. Its slow blinking lights and very faint stereotypical clown music used to be enough to make Harry lose his ever-loving mind, but as he witnessed such a gorgeous woman be helped inside a blue-scraped car, Harry couldn’t help but feel like absolute shit. That should have been him on that ride. It should have been him she was smiling at as the wheel turned to lift them high into the sunset. 
June 15, 2015
“Hey, H, could we go on the ferris wheel?” Brayley had tugged on Harry’s jacket sleeve, asking to go on her favorite ride at the fun fair. She had a soft spot for it as that was the ride her father always took her on as a child. Now she wanted to experience it with the new man in her life, her boyfriend of two years. Harry was apprehensive about even going out that night but Brayley mentioned that he promised she could pick their entertainment for the weekend. 
“Don’t wanna.” Harry muttered, his mood the same as it was the moment he agreed on steeping out for the evening. He was less than pleased to go to a damned fair; he hated the noise, the children, everyone in bathing suits as they come off the beach and right onto the fair rides. He hated the fun fair, always had. Brayley was determined to get Harry on the ride. She thought he would love it, think it was somewhat dreamlike, but she was dead wrong. 
“C’mon, it’ll be super cool! We’ll be able to see the whole fair and out into the lake, too. It’ll be really pretty, c’mo-” 
“I said I don’t want to go on that fucking thing. Besides, we don’t have enough tickets.” As he spoke, Harry kept his eye on a football match he had pulled up on his phone that his friend Benny sent him. He took a seat on a nearby bench making Brayley talk as she followed. 
“Yeah we do! S’only like four a person, I think. I can cover for both of us.” At this point, Brayley was begging for her boyfriend to do something with her, something she enjoyed for once. 
As he tried listening to what she was telling him, Harry missed the main point of the video, getting frustrated at his girlfriend’s voice. “I don’t want to! Why can’t you just accept that?” He barked at Bray, resulting in her frame deflating and face flushing from his scolding. 
But just like every day, her voice was the softest she could make it. “Because I wanted to do something fun with you.”
“I brought you to this damn fair, didn’t I? What, you’re not having fun?” Harry set his phone on his lap, putting all his attention on the girl in front of him. He knew that if he focused on her she would get slightly uncomfortable at the confrontation-like position of them and stop asking. 
Brayley knew at this point he wasn’t going to change his mind. But, maybe guilt-tripping him a little would get him to soften up. “We haven’t really done anything except eat and watch people play games...” 
Then again, he’s never been soft with her. “You know what? Go on the stupid thing your damn self. I’ll wait here until you’re done.”
That’s how Brayley ended up in the single rider’s line, waiting her turn to be ushered into a tiny swaying cat. She wanted to be excited but part of her was embarrassed to be standing where she was as she witnessed dozens of smiley couples get into their own little car. She was brought out of her sadness when the worker opened her side of the gate to let her into a shining red one with a young man already inside. Confused, she stepped up and in, taking a seat next to the other single rider as he latched the safety bar across their laps. 
“Hi, I’m Chris.” His voice was kind, soothing and distracting as he stuck his hand over to shake hers. 
“Brayley, nice to meet you.” She offered a kind smile. 
Chris returned the gesture. “You as well. So, nobody to ride with, huh?
“Yeah, no. Unfortunately, not. I didn’t see you in the single line?” Maybe small talk will make this experience way less awkward. 
“Yeah, my boyfriend was with me, but he chickened out at the very last second. Had to be let out but he said he’d get us some corndogs while I took a quick round.” Chris was nice, super nice. He seemed really sweet as well and as the two slowly moved then stopped every so often to let on new riders, she found herself becoming comfortable next this stranger. She had completely forgotten about her small tuff with her own boyfriend just across the way from her, but she didn’t care. She wanted a minute to herself to be in the company of someone who didn’t have a scowl on their face every second of the day. 
When the ride ended and the two strangers said their goodbyes, Brayley made her way over to Harry. It should be noted that he had witness the entire exchange between the two just moments ago and was not very thrilled at the idea of his girl talking to another man. 
That night, Harry broke three plates and five glass cups after accusing Brayley of finding her ferris wheel partner on purpose to make him jealous. She fell asleep in the guest room; too upset to sleep next to her boyfriend’s hard, whiskey-filled body, and too afraid to confront him the next morning. 
---------
9:47 pm
Harry unapologetically had watched his ex and her new man walk to the opening gate of the beach. Benny was trying to get his attention but as he pressed Harry to stand from the food truck-provided bench, he was met with a deep huff and child-like cross of the arms. A real pouter if he’d ever seen one. The two lovebirds seemed to float over the sand with hands interlocked. Slowly, she placed her opposite atop the man’s forearm. Resting it there gently, she glanced up as if to see if he was angry at the action, to see if he would pull away and scold her for touching him. But he didn’t. Instead he leaned down and placed a delicate kiss right above her brows and then another on the top of her head when she blushed furiously and looked towards the ground, biting her lip to tame the smile stretching across her now reddened face. It made Harry sick. He longed for a chance to do that with her; hold her hand and lie on the beach to watch the stars shine above. 
October 3, 2016
“Stop.” Brayley laugh at Harry’s deep tone, thought it was a playful demand. “Said stop, Brayley.” Impatient. Again, she tried slipping her hand into Harry’s to thread her thin fingers through his thick, ring-covered ones. He wasn’t best pleased at the final attempt. “Brayley! What the fuck, I said stop!”
Harry had fully turned toward his girl with arms down by his sides and fists balled. He took a threatening step forward, warning her that should she try again he would flip immediately. Brayley backed down, like a dog submitting to another to show they understand the others dominance.  “Sorry...I thought you were just messing around...”
Harry wanted to scoff at such a pathetic reply. Wanted to laugh in her face for trying to ease his anger but instead he surrendered to the fire burning hot in his chest. “You always think I’m pissing around when I’m not. You joke too fucking much and it’s annoying as hell.” With one last glare, he turned to continue down the wooden path that lead to a bench-filled side of the beach. They were to have a picnic and watch the sunset. Brayley already felt too uncomfortable to continue the night. “Sorry.” She whispered, though Harry was already several yards away. 
A little while later, when the sandwiches were devoured and lips stained red with wine, Brayley looked over to her boyfriend of two years. In her slight haze of a mind, she forgot about his flaws, how he treated her like trash and did almost everything but make her feel loved and secure. She saw him for his outward beauty. How it augmented when the sun was low enough to cast such a magnificent golden glow upon his tanned skin and made Harry close his eyes ever so softly to bask in its brilliance. 
Without much thought to anything at all, Brayley leaned over the picnic basket, closed her eyes, and pressed her cold lips to Harry’s warm ones. His eyes flew open at the sudden pressure and hands jutted to pull her away. “Brayley, are you fucking kidding me?” He seethed.
Out of breath and slightly confused on what had just happened, Bray furrowed her brows and returned to her original place on the blanket. She thought for a minute then tried her hand at reasoning. “There’s not many people around...I just wanted to give you a kiss...”
Harry was more than fed up with her excuses. “Doesn’t matter! I don’t like PDA, you know that. So why do keep trying to kiss me and hold my hand? I hate it when you do that shit in public. I told you to just fucking stop!” Properly shouting at this point, the pair caught the attention of passerby who wore sympathetic smiles, that is if they dared to look over. 
“M’sorry. Won’t do it again.” Another whisper. She was too embarrassed to look over. 
Hours pass by and the pair remained on the blue checkered blanket, but now Harry had laid down with his feet buried in the still hot sand and sweater-clad arm resting over his eyes. Brayley felt fine at this point, not as loopy as she had before; Harry’s scolding sobered her quickly. But as she watched the waves crash over and over again, she felt the breeze become more intense with the passing minutes. She took a chance at asking Harry for a bit of help. 
“H?” She tried. “Hey, Harry?”
“What?” A grumble, could’ve been worse. 
“Would it be all right if I wore your jacket...just for a little bit? I’m getting kind of cold.” To get her point across, Brayley let out a shiver and began rubbing her hands together. Harry was having none of that, his nerves were shot way too early in the day and now he was completely done. 
“Oh, you’re getting cold, huh? Didn’t I say this was gonna happen? We come to the beach at night and you think it’s gonna be like ninety degrees or some shit. I told you to bring a jacket, I told you several times, so what, now I have to be cold just because you decided to be stupid and not listen to me?”
She was too tired to argue. Tired of the way he always spoke to her and tired of the fighting. She knew if she had responded, Harry would’ve gone off and their late-night picnic on the beach would be properly ruined. So, she brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around herself before laying her right cheek against her freezing skin. Looking out into the ocean, she sent a prayer that Harry’s attitude would lighten up as quickly as the sun had set. Two hours later, she was properly shivering. Harry stood to pack up the basket and empty bottle of wine, not before commenting that her teeth chattering was the most annoying sound he’s ever heard. 
---------
2:02 am
Harry hadn’t had a proper cry in months but after doing so he felt the smallest bit better. This was what he needed; he needed to see her one more time, had to remember all that he did in order to work through that shit that was kept mudded up in his conscious for so long. He needed to cry it out. If he was ever going to get better, be better, Harry knew it was time to put Brayley Wright behind him. Not completely forget about her because being with her taught him so much, the understanding just came too late. 
Chest moving softly and slight hiccups escaping passed his lips, Harry began talking to himself. He tried to tell his mind that he was okay, that everything was going to work out no matter what, he couldn’t control fate but he could control how he lives his days from now on. As he reasoned with himself, Harry began nodding at the silent words he was thinking. He was feeling himself drift off, finally, but before sleep completely took over, Harry whispered one last line to the dark apartment bedroom: “She’s moved on. It’s time you do the same.”
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writersmacchiato · 5 years ago
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Reconnected | Todd Anderson
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Prompt: Reconnected (we knew each other a long time ago, friends, but things ended badly and now you’re apologizing) + jacket (you’re always taking my jacket but this year I give you one of mine as a present)
Warnings: none but bad writing ;’( 
———
The fluorescent lights shined on your face, casting a warm, twinkling glow over your features. It felt as if time was suspended. Snow fell in gentle sweeps, landing in your hair, and edging you closer to Todd. His arm was wrapped around yours, attention diverted as he talked to his friends. You folded your arms, burrowing your cold nose into his neck. He shivered, stopping mid-sentence as he smiled down at you.
"Cold?"
"Shut up." The words are muffled against his coat.
"I told you to bring a jacket." Todd said. "I literally gave you a jacket last week."
"But, it's different."
"How?"
"It's not yours."
Todd missed the days when you were just there, every moment of his life you were present. At school, you almost never left his side. It was odd to see him without you.
It was odd to be without you.
Things had ended so badly, so swiftly that it left his head spinning. Even now, it hurt to think about. Instead of remembering all the days filled with your smiles and laughs, he remembered the tears in your eyes as you slammed the door behind you. Pictures rattled on the wall from the force. He hadn't seen you since.
He had heard from Meeks and Pitts that you had gone to the same college as them. Little bits of news about you reached him and he clung to each one, despite how pathetic he felt.
. . .
He was the boy next door.
The boy you had fallen in love with so easily. So naturally it was something as simple as riding a bike or tying a shoelace. It made sense.
You would have given everything to hear that laugh of his, the laugh that sounded like sunshine.
So perhaps, when he met Marge, that is why you smiled and pushed down the feelings that ate away at you every night.
He was the boy who had been your companion since the age of three. Life for you was separated into two columns;
Life with Todd and life without Todd.
It was odd to be without him.
He was your constant, your best friend who knew everything about you. Well, everything but one small secret that would be the ruin of your relationship.
It was easy to pretend like you were only his friend and that you weren't in love with him. You had been pretending for years.
The jacket was frayed at the hem of the sleeves, white thread sticking out against the dark denim. It was rough and patchy. No longer having that soft and buttery feel. The inside lining of fleece was still warm, less cushioned, but familiar.
Next to it, was another jacket. A simple jacket that had been worn once. It hasn’t been touched since you left. Todd had given it to you, the Christmas before things changed, so you would stop taking his favorite one. But it wasn’t the same, you still took his denim jacket.
Until tonight, you didn’t know that it was still in your possession. Forgotten and left behind. Despite how much you wanted to pull away, ignore it, there was no denying how many memories it brought back.
A sharp knock on your door shakes you back to focus, fingers brushing away the tears that had gathered.
"You look perfect." You mother beamed, pinning a brooch to your collar before stepping away. "I'm so glad you came down for Christmas. It's been too long without you."
The annual party your parents hosted every year was something dreaded, but the dizzying sparkles and the flowing champagne was enough to lure you home. You missed your family and your old friends.
It was in full swing when you ventured down, keeping to the outskirts of the affairs to avoid unwanted attention. You had been present to greet guests as they came in, answering prying questions about your whereabouts. Everything is a whirl of sparkling necklaces and quiet, empty laughter. Twinkling lights that grow more and more fuzzy with every flute you grab. The music is a backdrop of smooth piano as you drift to the balcony, thankful for the cold air on your flushed skin.
The balcony is quiet, muffling the chatter of inside. It soothes you, the frigid stone beneath your fingers as you overlook the garden in its emptiness. But, it's too cold. The initial relief is quickly fading along with your body heat, and still you can't bring yourself to go back inside and face the frivolities.
You see him.
Todd.
He's walking across the room with hurried steps, trying to look discreet as he makes toward the balcony doors. You feel a rush of panic, feeling foolish as you think of a way to escape.
It didn't occur to you that he would be here. You had seen his brother on a number of occasions, playing the perfect son, but never Todd. Not after...
The balcony is two stories high with only a hedge surrounding the wall. Would you be seriously hurt if you jumped?
The door creaks open, a gust of hot air and a tumble of laughter, before it's quieted once more.
No words are passed. You can't look at him without feeling sick to your stomach.
The silence becomes unbearable, stretching and stretching until it snaps.
"You're wearing glasses again." You said and it’s dumb but that’s all you can think about when you finally peek a glance at him.
It had been a long time since Todd had worn them, his insecurity had him adorning contacts despite your reassurances that he looked great with them on. A voice in the back of your head said that Todd didn't care what you thought of him, he didn't seek your approval.
"I'm sorry."
You wish then you hadn't drank so much champagne, head spinning at his words. Never did you expect to hear that from him.
"For what?"
It's then you look at him, the pink in his cheeks as he avoids your gaze.
He looks like the Todd you remember.
"I don't...For letting you walk away, not saying anything to you after...I'm sorry for how things ended."
And, you dreamt of this. Of Todd coming back to you. Apologizing. So, why do you feel worse? An empty, sinking feeling as you think about what happened.
"It doesn't matter." You're being too aggressive. The bite in your voice is too harsh. Todd looks like you slapped him.
"Then why are you upset?"
"I'm upset because you didn't tell me!"
Todd leans against the couch, fingers clasped together. "I was going to tell you..."
"Were you? I didn't even know you had gone on a date. Charlie told me." You feel tears form, thinking back to what Charlie had nonchalantly said.
-He's on a date with that one girl...Eleanor? He hasn't shut up about her, right?
You remember how Charlie looked at you, as if you would know better than anyone else. You should've. Todd told you everything.
"Did you not trust me?"
"No!" Todd feels oddly panicked, his throat closing as he tries to keep calm but it's hard when you look so devastated. "It felt weird talking about it with you."
"What?"
"It's just you're you..." Todd pauses, cringing after he starts and you fill in the silence.
"Oh."
Really what were you expecting? This hurt more than anything.
"Okay." You're crying. You don't realize until the crack in your voice and Todd moves to sit beside you. "Don't. Okay, I get it."
You get up, wiping your cheeks with the denim of your sleeve. Before you can change your mind, you leave, slamming the door harder than you meant to.
“I’m sorry too.”
And, then it’s all out there. What more can you say? He may look like your Todd from before, but he’s not. Things aren’t the same. Words don’t flow easily anymore, there is no way to overcome this distance that has separated you for so long.
“Did you ever go on another date with her?”
It was a thought you had often afterwards, plagued with the thought of him falling hopelessly in love with this girl while you were stuck in your room writing messy poetry and listening to Frank Sinatra.
“No.” He takes slow steps, leaning against the railing. You could lean over and touch him if you wanted. “She wasn’t...”
His voice drops to a whisper and he looks away, clearing his throat. “It doesn’t matter.”
“She wasn’t what?” You feel lightheaded, heart beating rapidly, feeling a tingling in your fingers.
Todd looks at you, inhaling deeply. “She wasn’t you.”
“Oh.”
He avoids your searching gaze, growing tense in your stunned silence.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
How could you be so stupid!?
“We’re idiots.” You say breathlessly.
Todd cracks a smile, nodding.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I am. I should’ve-“
“Todd, I was literally the dumbest idiot in the world. I should have told you how I felt instead of hiding it all those years.”
“Years?” He looks confused, like it isn’t plausible to him.
“Todd, I’ve been in love with you since I was 15.”
“Oh.”
Now you’re the one fidgeting in place as something flashes across Todd’s face, a look you can’t decipher.
“Maybe, we could go to our old spot tomorrow? If you’re not busy?” He proposes, looking at his shoes with a shy smile before glancing at you.
“I’d love to.”
. . .
The fluorescent streetlights cast a warm, twinkling glow over the fallen snow. It felt as if time was suspended. Snow fell in gentle sweeps, landing in your hair, and making you walk faster to the coffee shop where Todd was waiting outside. His hands were clasped, rubbing for warmth 
You folded your arms, burrowing your cold nose into the furrow of your jacket. He shivered, his greeting halting mid-sentence as his eyes sweep over you. 
“Is that?”
“Yeah. I remembered to bring a jacket this time.”
Todd’s fingers lace with yours as he leads you inside. 
Perhaps all you needed to be reconnected with him was a miracle. . .
. . .and a worn-out jacket that had seen better days. 
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yawnjunie · 4 years ago
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extra long tag game (seriously, it’s very long)
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tagged by: @soobindipity​ (ty eri!)
tagging: @acethetiques​, @bloomingjun​, @txtdream​, @bulgo-gyu...(i’m honestly so lazy so if you want to do this, go ahead! feel free to ignore if you were tagged)
ONE
tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?
side effects! (oops this is a txt blog) but i’m pretty sure this is what made me want to stan skz! the song is very experimental, as it’s psychedelic edm (i believe), but i liked it a lot after a few listens. i was totally obsessed with the choreography as well, because the whole thing is just...art. they attracted me because their style of music was different than what i had seen before, and on top of being extremely talented and creative people, they were also super funny and caring.
another group that comes really close to being my favs is day6 (and i cannot even begin to describe my infatuation with this group). i listened to “shoot me” and “sweet chaos” and BAM that’s all it took to drag me into stanning this group. i’m not familiar with the inside jokes and all that, but i just love listening to their music! there is not a single bad song in their entire discography! i also have the largest heart eyes for young k’s “young one” project covers and eaJ’s original songs.
TWO
rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!
what’s your unrealistic goal for life?
going to an ivy league or just any amazing school in general (lol is this really gonna happen tho 🤪)
if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?
gone out with my friends, probably (going for a boba run, going to the mall, etc.)
what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?
a tiny book called “be active” by charles m. schulz, filled with motivation quotes. i also bring around a book, in case i get bored.
favourite type of plushies and why?
the extra fluffy kind that i can hug or use as a pillow, but i like the bear plushies a lot too (from daiso/miniso).
favourite song right now?
darn i don’t have one 😳 but i like listening to “ribs” by lorde
something that you’ve always wanted to learn?
how to make macarons, how to make/compose music, the korean language
tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)
i can’t think of something off the top of my head :( (i promise my life isn’t that boring but my brain isn’t conjuring up anything helpful)
headphones or speakers? why?
headphones when i want to listen to music by myself/with a friend, speakers when i want to share music openly
craving any food right now? what are you craving?
banh mi and 🍅 (even though i just had a bowl of them...sorry beomgyu)
+ also this coconut that i’m trying to open? but it’s not cooperating with me 😔
which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?
spotify, it’s unproblematic for the most part
ten questions (by eri, answered)
1. what’s the best trip/vacation you’ve ever had?
when i went on a tour of china (i went to a bunch of places, from the city to the mountains). it was fun exploring places i’ve never been to!
2. do you have any random fears/phobias? if yes, what are they?
spiders and bugs :(
3. weirdest food you’ve ever eaten?
either mangostine (i hated it, sorry soobin) or frog legs
4. do you have any hidden talents? what can you do?
uhhhhhhhhhhh i can memorize things quickly? i mean i don’t think it’s that big of a talent but i can remember trivial history facts really well
5. what is an activity you’d like to try out someday?
swimming underneath a waterfall or just living in the wilderness
6. when did you get your first phone and what type of phone was it?
a very long time ago when i was in 2nd grade, when i first got an ancient flip-phone...i pretty much never touched it because i never really needed to use it
7. what is a movie you never get tired of watching?
kimi no nawa! i’ve watched that movie 3 times already and it’s a great movie so i wouldn’t mind watching it again :)
8. biggest pet peeve?
dirt encrusted fingernails >:(
9. earliest childhood memory?
i’m not sure :( my memory is just a jumble of things from my childhood
10. as a child, what did you want to be? what about now?
i wanted to be anything and everything...one day i would be like “i’m going to be a doctor” and the next i would be like “nvm i want to be a magician” and as for now, i’m actually not sure because i’m interesting in many fields, including areas in both sciences and humanities.
THREE
rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.
AIR ༉⋆͙̈
i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me
FIRE ༉⋆͙̈
i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing
WATER ༉⋆͙̈
i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words
EARTH ༉⋆͙̈
i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life
AETHER ༉⋆͙̈
i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally
FOUR
PERSONAL
name: blu
nickname: blu
birthday: sometime when the flowers bloom
zodiac: aries
nationality: american
languages: english, chinese, spanish, (a bit of) japanese
gender: female
sexuality: straight
height: [redacted]
BLOG STUFF
inspiration for muse: txt and other groups i stan! i also like to take inspiration from my life experiences, books i’ve read, songs, movies. shows, and so on.
meaning behind my url: there weren’t any canon urls for yeonjun so my brain somehow went hmm? yawnjunie? sounds good (i’ve been asked this before and honestly there isn’t much logic behind my url lol)
blog established: June 5th, 2020
followers: 153 (it’s a small-ish community but thank you all for the support!)
FAVORITES
favourite animals: dogs, cats, wolves, foxes (i just love animals in general)
favourite books: asoue, the miraculous journey of edward tulane, the joy luck club, the giver series (there are more but i can’t think of them)
favourite colour: blue (i love all the colors)
favourite fictional characters: alyssa and james (teotfw), the baudelaires (asoue), and other people i can’t think of atm
favourite flower: i don’t think i have a specific favorite flower, but i like orchids!
favourite scent: the scent of pu’er tea (or the scent of dried flowers)
favourite season: i don’t have one, but i’m leaning towards autumn
RANDOM
average hours of sleep: 6-9
cats or dogs: dogs (i’m serious)
coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea all the way
current time: 01:05
dream trip: south america, europe, japan
dream job: tbd :’) (but i want to be in a profession in which i’m helping people)
hobbies: eating, playing piano, being a tubbs™
hogwarts house: ravenclaw (i think)
last movie watched: can’t remember, but it was probably a film about a mermaid who tried to find true love on land but ended up dying
last song listened to: i’m in love with you by kina
no. of blankets you sleep with: 1-2
random fact(s): i love mint chocolate ice cream, i like my milk tea with a bunch of toppings (pudding, aloe vera, boba pearls, etc.)
FIVE
10 things I can’t stop listening to
if i could ride a bike - chevy
pinocchio - eaJ
fly me to the moon - young k
holo - lee hi
lmm - hwasa
man in a movie - day6
laughing on the outside - bernadette carroll
remember (from natsume’s book of friends) - uru
sparkle - radwimps
i loved you - day6
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shuheather · 4 years ago
Text
50 questions
tagged by: @azfool ty these are fun !!
1. What is the color of your hair brush? I use a thick toothed comb these days and it is black
2. Name a food you never eat? Beef
3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Lately I’ve been too cold like every day but my heat tolerance is miserable
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Probably checking my work slack
5. Whats your favorite candy bar? Twix all the way bb
6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes, mostly baseball (at least Cubs, Indians, Orioles, and Red Sox but maybe more), I’ve been to some indoor football games if that counts? Also do you consider yoyoing a professional sport because I’ve been to a million yoyo competitions because of my brother
7. What was the last thing you said out loud? Something in response to one of my brothers about a video game probably
8. What is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip Cheesecake from J. P. Licks (if they ever bring it back I WILL go great lengths to get some) but of the attainable variety honestly anything that has a good amount of chocolate, no fruit, and no nuts
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water from my water bottle
10. Do you like your wallet? Honestly not really I never use it, I just keep one of those pockets on the back of my phone for the three cards I need most at any given moment
11. What was the last thing you ate? I had a bowl of Frosted Flakes for breakfast
12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? No but the weekend before I thrifted a flannel that I am very excited about
13. What was the last sporting event you watched? Stanley cup final
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? I could eat any sort of lightly salted popcorn for years on end but buttered is good too as long as it’s not too much. Movie theater popcorn makes my stomach upset though so no more of that
15. Who was the last person you sent a text to? Olivia
16. Ever go camping? Yes but not since I was a child
17. Do you take your vitamins? I don’t buy them on my own but when my mom tries to get me to eat gummy vitamins I say no
18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? Whenever I’m outside I stop to look up at the treetops and the clouds a lot does that count
In all seriousness no my parents never cared about religion much so it’s not something I’ve ever been into
19. Do you have a tan? My Chaco tan from this summer is still going pretty strong but it is fading
20. Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? Chinese 100%
21. Do you drink soda through a straw? I don’t drink soda so undefined
22. What color socks do you usually wear? I always wear funny patterned socks that either I buy or other people buy for me. Common themes include cats, space, and food
23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Honestly yes but I try not to do more than 10 mph over
24. What terrifies you? The future of my country, that everyone I interact with secretly hates me, suffocation (but especially drowning)
25. Look to the left, what do you see? Phone, water bottle, pencil holder I sculpted in high school containing pens and honey sticks, my wall of art/letters/quotes/etc that makes me happy
26. What chore do you hate doing the most? Doing the dishes is hard sometimes
27. What do you think when you hear an Australian accent? I’m bad at separating out Australian accents from English/NZ/etc accents tbh so usually I’m just like ??? trying to figure out where they’re from
28. What’s your favorite soda? I don’t drink soda so undefined
29. Do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru? So I don’t eat a ton of fast food these days because their vegetarian options are often few or nonexistent however if I go to Taco Bell I always go in or order online because I do so many modifications that I would be embarassed to dictate it to a person and I would rather just input it on an order screen. Otherwise if I have my order together I’ll drive through as long as the line isn’t significantly longer than the line inside
30. What is your favorite number? I know it’s basic of me to pick my birthday number but 24 probably
31. Who’s the last person you talked to? like, out loud? My youngest brother
32. Favorite cut of beef? I don’t eat beef so undefined
33. Last song you listened too? I listen to music while I work a lot but it’s never music that I know because then my brain latches onto it, so I’m currently listening to Lucky Sue by Men I Trust on my discover weekly but the last song I knew was Just the Two of Us by Grover Washington and Bill Withers
34. Last book you read? I am currently in the middle of The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern and it is wonderful so far would recommend
35. Favorite day of the week? Saturday because I work 9-5 so it is the only day I am truly free rn
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I just tried and my brain went “zyxcvbnm” so no
37. How do you like your coffee? I don’t drink coffee so undefined but as a loophole I will say cookies with coffee in them are REALLY good
38. Favorite pair of shoes? In the summer my chacos, right now my feiyues, in the winter my docs
39. Time you normally get up? I am currently working hard to maintain a sleep schedule so my alarm goes off at 9 but left unsupervised I will wake up any time between 9 and noon
40. Do you prefer sunrise or sunset? If I am seeing the sunrise it usually took some level of sleep deprivation to get there which is usually not good for me in any respect so sunset
41. Describe your kitchen plates? I’m living at home rn so we have a variety which includes my plastic Barbie plate which I think is actually older than me but also these plates that were supposed to be fancy dishware and my mom was like “if we don’t just use these they will sit in a box forever” so now they are our normal dishes
42. How many blankets on your bed? I sleep with a sheet (look I also used to be anti sheet but sleeping in a place with no AC changed me okay) and a comforter. In the winter I might add another blanket but I get warm when I sleep so extra blankets are usually not necessary
43. Describe your kitchen at the moment? There is such thing as having too many spice mixes
44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? I do not drink so no
45. Do you play cards? I used to a lot when I was a kid but now I mostly just play solitaire on my phone
46. What color is your car? I don’t have a car of my own but the car I share with my brother is maroon
47. Can you change a tire? I might need to follow instructions but with instructions I believe I could
48. Favorite state? I don’t think I have a favorite state but if we were doing some sort of mathematical analysis a large amount of my favorite places are currently in Massachusetts
49. Favorite job you’ve ever had? I think probably my current one which is Database/IT stuff for a racial equity nonprofit
50. Tagging: @alnasak because it’s just like the good old days
#me
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